The Gold In The Buckle
by Rhiannon A. Christy
Summary: No one ever said it was easy loving a cowboy. Bella never thought herself the rodeo type, that was until she met Jacob Black, one of the top Bull Riders in the world. Now she must deal with the worry, the wonder, and life of being a Cowboy's Girl. Jake/Bella. AH/AU
1. Preface: Part 1 and 2

Preface Part One: The Fever;

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(Jake's POV)

There is nothing in the world quite the same as living your live eight seconds at a time. There are people that call me crazy, a risk taker. But at least I am living. This is more than an obsession, more than a want or need. It just is.

There is a lust for the adrenaline. It fills every part of you when you are seated on the back of that bull. Nothing else matters, nothing else exists.

The beast under me bucks the best he can, his large body unable to do much more while trapped in the chute. I can hear the screaming of the people around me, fans waiting to see me ride. Their voices become nothing more than a quiet mummer as I tighten the rope and settle myself on this beast's back.

My nose fills with the scent of musk, leather and the faint sweet scent of tobacco. I can feel the adrenaline start to rush through me, it is spicy and thick and causes my heart to beat frantically against my ribcage. I can practically taste the dirt on my tongue already.

I take just the quickest of seconds to glance at my father. He has his eyes once again closed as he says a quiet prayer. I mumble my own under my breath and steady myself one last time. I nod to the crew and allow everything else to fade into the background as the gate opens.

My life starts as my bull starts bucking. Another eight seconds, another fight between me and this beast. Win or loose, this is who I am.

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Preface Part Two: The Beginning;

(Bella's POV)

I had never before shown any real interest in anything to do with the rodeo. It just wasn't my thing, or at least I never thought it was. If one happened to be televised and I came across it I would watch it. With a sort of detached interest. I really didn't see the appeal, to me it was just a bunch of overgrown boys trying to show off who was the bigger man. Sort of like boys on the playground that used to see who could pee the farthest.

That was why it was rather strange that I was at the moment standing in the middle of a large stadium surrounded by all sorts of farm animals. The placed smelled like nothing I have ever encountered. It was musky and putrid. I swore I could even smell the sweat dripping off all the cowboys walking around.

I kept having to remind myself that I loved Alice Cullen, my best friend. She had dragged me out of my bed at five this morning. Stuck me in this suede monstrosity and puffed up my hair only to cover it up with a large cowgirl hat. Afterwards I was loaded into her car and found myself here, at a rodeo.

As I looked around me I felt a little out of place. Sure some of the girls were dressed up like Alice had done me, but most were in jeans and boots. Of course what should I have expected from the Fashion Diva? I had no doubt she would try to muck out horse stalls in six hundred dollar designer jeans and snake skin boots.

Alice's boyfriend, Jasper Witlock, was out of town visiting his sister. So when her brother gifted her with tickets to the rodeo she refused to go alone. I was beginning to think it was a mistake to give into her puppy dog eyes.

I was pulled out of my thoughts by the high pitched squeal of my best friend. Alice was jumping up and down beside me, one hand clasped tightly to my arm and the other pointing straight ahead at a large crowd. I seriously considered pulling away from her and pretending like I had no idea who she was.

"Oh My God! Jacob Black and Paul Marez!" I squinted my eyes and looked in the direction she was pointing, but I couldn't make out anything other than the backs of heads and several camera flashes.

"Who and who?" She looked at me like I had asked her to recite Hamlet, backwards.

"You have got to be kidding me! Have you not been listening to me, ever? Jacob Black and Paul Marez, two of the best bull riders of the twenty-first century. Come on, I want to get a closer look." One would think as I am several inches taller than her that I would have had the strength to fight her. Sadly this was wrong, and so once again I was dragged by this pixy.

"Alice, you have a boyfriend. His name is Jasper, remember?"

"I didn't say I was going to jump them, though that would be fun. Could you imagine those two cowboys attentions focused solely on you? I mean there is a reason why girls like bull riders, they know how to ride it." Seriously? I really did not need to hear this coming from her.

"Anyway, I just want to get a better look." I just shook my head. I was resigned to tag along waiting until I could finally sit down, that was until my eyes laid upon the two cowboy gods in the center of the crowd.

Both had russet skin that looked like it would be soft to the touch. Hair dark as oil shinned from beneath from black brimmed cowboy hats. My eyes just about popped out of my head as they lowered down to notice dark washed blue jeans so tight you could see every curve. Their girlfriends were some lucky bitches.

As we got closer I could hear them. Both had voices that were deep and sent chills up your spine. When one of the reporters directly in front of me spoke, both looked over. My eyes connected with one of them. My heart skipped a beat. I expected him to look away, but he kept his eyes locked with mine as he continued answering questions.

"Alice, which one is that?" I nodded to the one staring at me.

"Jacob Black. Oh My God, Bella. He is looking at you like he wants to eat you. Fuck if either of them looked at me like that I know I would have orgasmed on the spot. You don't need a change do ya Bella?" Cheeky bitch. My face turned so red I knew I had to look like a tomato.

"Oh, thank you so much Alice." She just laughed.

* * *

Jacob never once took his eyes off me as he continued the interview. After another twenty minutes both men made their excuses and the journalists left. Jacob finally looked away when Paul spoke to him. I took that as my cue to leave. I refused to believe Jacob was actually looking at me like that. I mean I was nothing special. And so to save me from the embarrassment that would surely follow I turned on my heel and walked away as quickly as I could. Apparently it wasn't fast enough.

I heard shouting first followed by a large hot hand wrapping tightly around my wrist. I was spun around with such a force that I was knocked right into the chest of the man who grabbed me. A rather hard, broad and extremely sculpted chest.

My eyes lifted till I was staring straight into the warm and kind eyes of one Jacob Black. He grinned at me, a small chuckle rumbling through his chest at what I figured was my inability to standup straight. Yet he refused to let me go. He only looked down at me with an intense stare. I knew I had to be blushing from my ears to my toes.

"I'm sorry Miss, didn't mean to throw you off balance. Though glad you chose to fall this way." His sweet grin turned quickly into a flirty smirk. I melted right there in his arms.

"I-it's alright. I can trip and fall standing still if you can believe it." I laughed, but unlike the easy humor that his had been, mine sounded awkward.

"Well I'll just have to make sure that I'm always there to catch you." I could only nod, my voice seemed to have abandoned me. He chuckled again, God what I wouldn't do to hear that everyday. He released me, and I barely held in my whimper.

"I think it would only be proper now to introduce myself. I'm Jacob Black, but to you Little Lady I'm just Jake." He held out his hand slightly, I just stared at it dumbly until I realized he was waiting for me to introduce myself. I placed my hand in his before I spoke.

"Isabella Swan, um Bella." I had expected his hand to wrap tightly around mine like the handshakes I always got from my father's friends. I was surprised when he slid his hand in mine so he held just my fingers. His four behind mine, and his thumb rubbing softly across the top of my knuckles. I knew my mouth was hanging open as he then brought my hand to his lips and placed a hot lingering kiss there.

"Well Miss Bella, it is certainly a pleasure to meet you. And I was wondering, I have a few hours before I have to ride, and would like to know if you wouldn't accompany me for something to eat?" Ok, where did this boy come from, and why were all men not like him? I was jolted from my thoughts by a sort of whimper/squeak combination. Alice…oh God Alice! I couldn't believe I actually forgot she was there.

"Um, I would love that, but I'm here with my friend…" I didn't get to finish as Jake pulled back with an embarrassed glance over to my best friend.

"My Pa would have my head with how rude I have been. Excuse me Miss…?" He held his hand out and took Alice's the same way, but I didn't fail to notice that his lips only hovered over her hand as he mimicked a kiss.

"Alice Cullen, and it is a _real_ pleasure meeting you." I couldn't believe it, Alice was actually blushing. I never thought I would see the day.

"Well, then I would like to ask if both of you would mind accompanying me for an early lunch?" I was all ready to decline when Alice spoke up.

"Of course we would love too!"

* * *

For the next couple of hours we just talked, about anything and everything. I learned that he lived with his father still, his two older sisters already married with their own families. His mother had died when he was younger, leaving him to care for his increasingly ill father.

I told him of my parents, their early divorce and my growing up basically parenting my mother. How I moved back in with my father after her new marriage, and my failed relationship with Alice's brother Edward.

At some point Alice left, making excuses that she wanted to see something or other. I wasn't really listening. The entire time Jake kept my hand in his on top of the table.

He was telling me about growing up alongside Paul, and their healthy competition in everything, when said friend walked over and after introducing himself tapped his watch. Jake sighed but nodded before turning back to me.

"I am afraid that I have to leave. I have to prepare. But I was wondering if you would give me something for luck?" He was so cute as he played with my fingers. Like a little boy asking his first crush if she liked him too.

I looked around me for a moment before I noticed the skirt Alice had stuck me in. The bottom of it had long suede fringe.

"Of course, just one moment." He smiled sweetly. I bent down and tore of several strips of the leather and proceeded to weave them together just like my mother taught me as a little girl. When I was done I grabbed his arm and tied it around his wrist.

"Thank you Bella. I will see you later I hope." He stood and started to walk to where Paul stood waiting. I didn't allow myself to think about what I was doing. I just jumped up and ran to him. When he noticed he turned around with a raised eyebrow. I didn't speak, only grabbed his neck and brought his mouth down to mine.

His lips were hot and soft, they pressed firmly to mine forcing my mouth open. Oh God, he tasted just like he smelled. All leather and pepper. We remained wrapped up in each other's arms until a throat cleared loudly beside us. When we parted we were greeted by the smirking face of his friend Paul.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Jake we've got to go." He detangled himself from me and with one last peck on my lips he was gone. I couldn't believe I just did that.

* * *

I had never really watched someone ride a bull, it was exciting but also a little nerve wrecking. When Alice and I had gone to find our seats, we were approached by one of the attendants. Apparently Jake had somehow got us new seats, the ones with the Riders' family. I ended up sitting beside Billy Black, his father.

When it was Jake's turn I thought I was going to pass out. Every thrash of the bull's head put its sharp horns closer to Jake. At one point Billy put his hand on my legs and squeezed. When I looked over he just offered me a sad smile full of understanding. I was sure he had to deal with the stress of watching his boy on a bull many, many times before.

After it was all over we were invited to one of the local bars. Jake and I ended up making out at one of the booths. Two days later we went out on our first date.

That was five years ago. Five years on that day I met the man I knew I would someday marry.

Now as I sit here on our bed, Jake sleeping next to me I wondered if I knew how things would turn out, would I go back in time and stop myself from going that day.

Jake shifted beside me and moaned quietly. I looked at his drawn face, still handsome to me. No, I knew that I would go through all the heart ache, the pain, a thousand lifetimes just to be with him.

I leaned down the best I could and laid a soft kiss on his chapped lips.

"I love you."

* * *

Author's Note: Alright, so I know I have yet to fully finish FITTS, but I was really wanting to get this out. For those that have read the oneshot, part two of the preface is probably pretty familiar, but I have extended it a bit. Also the rating is being upped to M, simply for language and adult themes. All lemons will be on Black and Pack.

I want to thank Deanna (AKA Redneck Wolfie) She had been an absoulte Sugar, I am just getting into the rodeo and everything it entails and she has been a sweetheart in helping me with this story. Thank ya Sugar, you have no idea how big of a help you have been and will be with this story. (Hugs)

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own!


	2. Cowboys And Bunnies

**Note: For those that already have this on watch, the original oneshot has been edited and added to so you might want to go back and read the first bit before reading this. **

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**Chapter One: Cowboys And Bunnies;

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(Bella's POV)

Walking inside the door to the apartment I shared with Alice, I took off my hat and threw it across the room. I tried to slip my fingers through my hair only to get my fingers caught in the wild tangle of curls. I was sure I looked a sight. My hair was already a thick mass atop my head, add in the fact that I spent the past three hours in a booth with Jacob Black. He had one hand buried in my hair at all times as he kissed me.

My lips were swollen and red and I was sure that I had little patches of red skin along my chin and cheeks where his stubble had rubbed. But all in all I didn't care what I looked like. I was in love….ok maybe not love, but oh God I could so easily fall for this man.

The door behind me slammed and I turned to find Alice standing just inside the apartment, her face red and she was breathing pretty heavy.

"That…that…that asshole!" What in the world happened while I was with Jake? Last I knew she had been keeping Paul company at the bar.

"He…that…you know…Gah!" I had to raise my eyebrow at that one. Alice was never at a loss for words. She looked at me and huffed before she went and slumped down on the couch.

"Figures, you get the good one." I just shook my head and sat down across from her and proceeded to take off my boots. They might have looked good, but I was not used to anything but my converse and my feet hurt.

"Do I have to remind you yet again that you already have a boyfriend, so if I get the 'good one' it is only fair? Anyway, what happened? It looked like you and Paul were getting along well when Jake and I went to find a booth." She glared at me, and no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't find it in me to be frightened. It was like being stared down by a mouse. Not scary in the least.

"Oh yeah he was all smiles and sweet words while his friend was there, once you two left he turned into….an asshole! You know what he has taken to call me? Bunny!" She crossed her hands over her chest and slumped further into the couch. I wasn't sure what the problem was.

"That is not an odd endearment. I mean Jasper calls you his little chipmunk, I don't see why this is so upsetting." And again with the incredulous look. I have been getting that a lot today from her.

"I swear you must never listen to me. It is in reference to Buckle Bunnies…" I just sat there staring at her. I still wasn't getting it, though I was sure by the look on her face it wasn't flattering.

"Buckle Bunnies, rodeo groupies. You remember those girls we saw behind the chutes in the skin tight jeans that Jake was having to fend off, those are Buckle Bunnies." Sadly I do remember those girls, one was particularly adamant about getting his attention. I swear that girl had no shame, I found myself wanting to go down there and stuff that damn hat of her's down her throat.

"You do happen to be sort of a groupie though. I mean I swear you know more about Jake and Paul then even they do." Another slight blush rose on her face.

"I AM NOT! Bella he was implying that I was only there for sex, I know he was." Alice was actually pouting now.

"You can't tell me Alice that if he offered that you wouldn't have taken him up on it? I saw they way you were looking at him. He went off with some blonde in a pair of Levi's didn't he?" She sneered at me and I just stared her down until she finally huffed and looked away.

"It was a redhead in a pair of Wranglers. But that is not the point!" I just raised a brow at her.

"Shut up." I laughed as I stood up and went to try and brush my hair out before taking a shower. Alice, apparently over her pout followed me to my room.

"So as it seems you did pretty well with your own cowboy, why are you here and not at his hotel?" I pulled my brush through my hair only to get it caught in a large knot that Jake had created in the back of my head.

"You know I'm not into one night stands, and cowboy or not I wasn't about to change." I hid my face from her as I tried to loosen the knot. I didn't even hear her as she came over to me, but I did feel her hands as they grabbed the brush from me and led me over to my bed. She sat behind me and started on untangling my mess of curls.

"You know I love my brother, but Edward must have been pretty bad at sex and everything. I mean if you don't even know how to fix this knot. You know, I don't think I ever even heard you moan or scream at night when you two were together." Oh God, oh God, oh God, she was not talking about this? I looked up into the mirror across the room and saw a smirk across her face, that conniving bitch. She knew I would do anything not to have to talk about Edward.

"Fine, if you want to know so bad you would actually endure talking about your brother's sex life, he is taking me out on a date." I cringed as she pulled my hair as she squealed. It seemed all thoughts about Paul had flown out of her head.

"When, where? Oh did he give you his phone number, did you give him your's? Do you need my help with what to where? Oh what am I saying of course you do, hair and makeup too. I know just the dress too, I mean if you are going to be dating a cowboy….wait you are actually dating him right? This isn't just some sort of joke to get me to shut up?" I rolled my eyes, she was like the thing that wouldn't shut up.

"Ok let's see here….the day after tomorrow, I am not sure yet he said it was going to be a surprise. Yes he did, and yes I did. No I do not need help with dressing myself, and I am sure a dress would not be appropriate as he said I needed to wear jeans. And finally yes I am actually going to be dating him, and no it wasn't a joke to shut you up. Not that it worked had it been. I think that may cover it all." Before I even finished she had jumped off the bed and ran into the front room. I followed a moment later to find her with my cell.

"What are you doing?" He didn't even look up at me as she answered.

"Setting his ringtone. You are always hopeless when it comes to those, I mean remember when you chose that circus theme for me. Absolutely horrid." Really, I thought it fit perfectly.

"Ok, so what have you chosen?" I sat down beside her, she had didn't look up just sat there with her brows furrowed.

"I swear they never have enough classic country music. I think we need some old school here. Ahhh, there. It is between Rodeo and Hooked on an 8 Second Ride…..'Hooked' definitely, he seems like a LeDoux guy." Ok, not that it would have mattered to me, I never listened to country, old school or new. A couple of minutes later she handed me the phone back with the ringtone all set.

"After your date we will see about changing it to Good Ride Cowboy." She was looking up at me with that twinkle in her eyes, I knew if I didn't change the subject soon I was going to be getting sex advice from the imp. There was little that could get Alice off the subject of sex, not even fashion. Though I was thinking there might just be one, even if it did mean a raging friend.

"So, was there another reason you dislike Paul besides the whole Bunny thing?" Her face went dark immediately the moment I said his name. He must have really pissed her off.

"You want me to make a list? This could last all night….ok besides his insinuation did you notice that he chews? I mean to each their own, but seriously he just kept stuffing that nasty stuff in his mouth and then he would speak and you could smell it.

"He had a bottle for goodness sake, he would just keep spitting in it….eck." I settled down in the couch and tuned her out as she ranted on and on about Paul. I had a feeling he would be in for it should they see each other again.

* * *

(Jake's POV)

I plopped down on the edge of my bed after my shower, my towel barely hooking around my waist. I was seriously thinking about bringing my own towels when I traveled. The ones that hotels provide you were always more like dishtowels.

My whole body hurt and I knew from experience that it would only be worse in the morning. I was twenty-five years old, but my body thought I was twice that age. I love riding, I live for it, but it does take its toll on you.

I have been bucked off enough times, stomped and mashed on, dragged and crashed. I've broken more bones than I can count, and some of those all the way back before I started working the rodeos. I've been lucky, Paul had to have a few of his front teeth replaced when a bull bucked just right and his face went smashing right into the beast. That had been back on the ranch just right before our first rodeo. Pa let into him real good when he had gone out to see what was taken us so long. We had been suppose to have been in for dinner, but Paul insisted on one ride.

That was always the way it was with us. Paul, though came from different parents, was my brother. He is two years older than me, though with the way he acts you would think he was much younger. Paul's father skipped out on his mother when she had been pregnant with him.

His mother had been a friend of my parents, so when she got sick and passed on Paul moved in with us on the ranch. I had only been five at the time, Paul seven. The two of us were thick as thieves growing up, in fact not much has changed. Sure we both have other friends. Back home I sometimes hang out with Embry and Quil, they both work on the ranch. Have since they were eighteen, they look after everything whenever Pa decides to join us at the rodeo.

Paul, when home would hang with Jared, those two have slept their way through most of the girls we know. Of course that all came to a halt when Jared met Kim, now Paul and him will talk on the phone every few months or so.

I hear a groan from the room next to mine and I just shake my head and get up to put a CD in my radio. Paul hadn't changed much since we were teens. I admit I have had my share of girls, and yes a Bunny or two. It can get pretty lonely and after a couple of hard rides it is nice to be focused on by a pretty young thing.

I threw my towel into the bathroom and just laid down across my bed. Normally right about now I would be surrounded by the heat of a sweet cowgirl. There were plenty of them there tonight. But for the first time in a very long time I didn't even pay any attention to the girls fluttering their lashes at me. My mind was filled with auburn hair and chocolate eyes.

When I had been answering questions I had looked up at a movement in the corner of my eye. I couldn't tell you how I felt the moment my eyes landed on her. She was so pretty and it wasn't hard to tell that she didn't belong there. She looked so uncomfortable. I refused to take my eyes off of her afraid if I did she would disappear.

When I had caught her wrist and asked her to lunch I didn't have anything but a bed partner in mind. I wasn't looking for a girlfriend, I knew it was hard to have a relationship when you are traveling like I do. I had tried once, a girl back home that I grew up with.

Leah Clearwater had been my girlfriend since I was thirteen. She was just a bit older than me, but she hadn't cared. She was there for me when my mother got sick and when she died. She had helped us out on the ranch, taking over where my mother left off.

She supported me when I started riding and even traveled with me to a few rodeos. Eventually the strain of watching me ride sent her back home. That was when the fights started. She had wanted to get married, I swore that we would. Things of course didn't work out.

She would call the day she knew I was riding, they started out with her wishing me well and to be careful. They soon ended up with her yelling at me, upset that I was never home. Our relationship ended when I returned one day to find out she had been seeing Embry.

I had been mad at first, I had believed that Leah was the love of my life. I had yet to realize that the ride was and not her. Now when I return home and she is in the kitchen with her and Embry's son I can smile. I had made the choice, I had left her though I hadn't understood that at the time. At least with Embry she would always have someone around.

So I wonder how I could allow myself to yearn for something more than a fuck or two with Bella. She had been so sweet and kind during lunch. It had been a long time since I had felt the kind of connection I did with her.

The door to my room flung open before I could react. When I turned it was to find Paul standing there in nothing but a pair of jeans. He was smirking at me and I suddenly wanted to punch him. I was beginning to wonder why I had allowed him one of the card keys to my room.

"Figured you let that fine piece of Sugar go. Surprising though considering your faces were practically glued together at the bar." I looked over to the clock beside the bed. Had I really been laying here for almost two hours?

"And how did you figure that out?" I sat up and grabbed a pair of boxers off the pile of clothes beside my bed. Nudity never bothered us, I mean when we were young boys neither of us bothered with swimming trunks until Leah had started hanging out with us. And only then after she got mad and forced us to wear them.

"You're listening to Chris LeDoux, you always listen to all that pansy shit when you have a girl in your room. Most girls don't find 'Copenhagen' romantic." Like he would know what was romantic and what wasn't. He had never been with a girl more than once.

"What are you doing in here anyway, shouldn't you be with…wait you didn't bring Alice back here did you?" He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No, first off she has a boyfriend. You know I won't sleep with taken girls, I'm not that much of a bastard. Plus she is Bella's friend and by the way you two were acting I didn't think screwing her best friend was going to help you." Ah, Paul's version of brotherly love.

"No it wouldn't have. So who is it this time?" He shrugged his shoulders and came to plop down on the bed beside me and went to grab the package of smokes I had on the table. I really didn't smoke that much, maybe one every now and then when I got too stressed out.

"Diane, she was that redhead with the huge tits that was waiting tables. She wanted to play cowgirl." I tried to think about who she was talking about, but it seems I hadn't paid any attention to anyone but Bella.

"Too bad about Alice though, she was sweet. I bet she is wild too." I sure hope he hadn't told her that.

"Alright, why don't you go back to Diane. I'm sore and would like to get some sleep." He stood taking my pack of smokes with him.

"Sure sure little brother. You know these are bad for you?" With that he left. I just laughed and climbed into bed after taking a couple of aspirin. Lord, I swore these bulls were going to kill me one day.

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Author's Note: Ok, so this of course takes place just after the rodeo in the preface. Also I know I mentioned Chris LeDoux a bit, but I LOVE him and well yeah I promise not to mention him in every chapter.

Now before anyone asks, yeah there is going to be a sort of side story between Alice and Paul. This story might not be updated as quickly as my others as there is a bit more to writing this one. I'm still learning a lot about bullriding and rodeos and the lifestyle, and I want to get this as right as possible. But I will try to update at least once a week.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own!


	3. The Whole Damn Cake

Chapter Two: The Whole Damn Cake;

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(Bella's POV)

The morning of my first date with Jake dawned bright and cheery. If only I felt the same way. I was excited of course, but nervous. I had never went out with a man like Jake before. My last boyfriend, Alice's older brother Edward, had been a doctor just like their father. Before him I dated a lawyer, an accountant, and a professor at the college.

Even when I had been still in school I had dated a guy who was the youngest manager at the local store. Each and every one of the were clean cut. They wore starched shirts with an even amount of buttons all done up, and tucked into their dress pants. Wing-tipped leather shoes, or God forbid penny loafers. Their hair was always perfect, never a strand out of place. And should they actually wear a casual wear it was a pair of jeans, pressed and without even the slightest hint of a worn patch. And a clean, brand new t-shirt under one of his impeccably starched button-downs.

They were the men that I knew would look good on my arm at some social function. I had tried so hard growing up to be different from my mother. She was irresponsible, immature, and I had heard many of my classmates make jokes about her. I didn't want to be like her, I didn't want to be the butt of some joke. So I set out to make myself as mature as possible.

I worked in the office of Lynch's Medical Supplies. I had first gotten the job my senior year in high school. At first I had done nothing more than make coffee and a file the paperwork away. After years of working hard and even refusing to take sick days I had finally gained my own desk. Now I spent my days on the phone and typing up orders on the computer.

All the guys I dated had been role models in the community. Men that not only had steady jobs that they never took off from, but also donated to various charities and volunteered at schools and community centers. They were also safe. Each and every one of them I knew could offer me the life I had thought I wanted. We would be married and never have to worry about money. There would never be any drama or scenes in public. The problem was they also were boring. Even Edward.

I had met him through work. Carlisle had opened his own practice in the town over just a couple of years before, Edward joining him after moving back from California. LMS provided much of their small supplies such as latex gloves and gowns.

Mindy, the other woman that wrote orders, had made a mistake in the Cullen order and Edward had come down himself in order to straighten it out. Poor Mindy could barely think while Edward had explained what was wrong and what needed to be fixed.

I, myself had trouble keeping my mind on my own work. He was beautiful. When Mindy had left to check to see if we had in stock what he needed, Edward had come over and without much talk asked me out. It had been by the fifth date that I hate met Alice. Their mother had invited me over to dinner and waiting at the door for us had been this tiny little dark haired pixy. She had been bouncing up and down, her hands clapping together as she waited for us to get to the house. Once we were at the door she had taken my hand and dragged me inside and upstairs in order to talk to me.

Edward had apologized over and over again, but I didn't mind. In fact I was glad of it. Since then Alice has become my best friend, more of a sister actually. I had feared when things had eventually gone sour with Edward that she would dump me herself. Instead she had drove over to my apartment the moment that Edward announced that we had broken up. When I answered the door I thought it was to yell at me, but she just pushed her way in carrying a brown paper sack filled with ice cream and told me to tell her everything.

When I had finished she was immediately on the phone to her brother, calling him every nasty name in the book. I almost felt sorry for Edward.

I sighed as I heard the door to my room open and close and I knew Alice was getting ready to attack me with clothes.

"Before you say or do anything, I remind you that Jake said that I needed to wear clothes that I would be comfortable in and wouldn't be upset if they got a bit dirty." I heard her huff and turned myself back into my pillows. I really liked Jake, but he wasn't safe, he wasn't clean cut. He was everything that all my other boyfriends weren't, and I was beginning to think everything I should have been looking for.

"Well, I am not allowing you to go out of this house in your work clothes. Just because he wants casual doesn't mean you have to look like a ragamuffin." I lifted my head from where I had started to bury it under the pillows and raised an eyebrow at her.

"Ragamuffin? Really?" She just stuck her tongue out at me and started to pull out shirt after shirt from my dresser. I sat there watching as she formed three piles; Maybe, No, and Needs to be burned now. Sadly the last pile was the highest.

When she started in my closet on my jeans I decided it would be best to find some breakfast. It was painfully obvious that I was not going to get a say in what I was wearing. I took a shower after eating and was standing in the middle of my bathroom stark naked trying to brush out my hair when Alice walked in.

I didn't even try to cover myself up. This was not the first time or the last time she would do this. When we first started sharing a place she had done this, scared the hell out of me. I had pulled on a towel only to have her grab the corner and pull it off with a, 'lets see what we have to work with shall we.' At that moment I realized that there would be little privacy with her.

"Ok, well I think we may just have something worthy here. I found those pair of Cruel Girl jeans I bought you for your last birthday in the back of your closet…" I held up my hand and set down my brush as I turned around.

"Alice, those are like a hundred dollar pair of jeans!" She shook her head and made another one of her huffing noises.

"A hundred and seventy-five dollars actually. I would not have bought you one of the cheaper pairs." Oh God, that was the only problem with being best friends with a shopaholic rich girl. Sure, I knew many other girls that would have done anything to be friends with Alice. She loved to spoil those she loved. I, on the other hand, hated to be spoiled. It was one of the reasons it never worked out between me and Edward. While I had wanted to be able to live comfortably without worry I didn't want to be showered with jewels and trinkets.

"That is not the point. What is, is the fact that Jake said that I was to wear something that I would not care if it got dirty. I figured that whatever we are doing or wherever we were going it was a good chance that I would get…..wait for it….dirty. Those are way too expensive." She waved me off and set the jeans on the bathroom counter. I did have to admit they were a pretty pair of jeans.

"Don't worry, these are durable. Anyway, you didn't have any shirts that would have worked. Luckily I found this old shirt that Jasper left here." She lifted up a worn black shirt with Garth Brooks written across it. I remembered Jasper wearing that shirt, it had been rather tight on him.

"I can't wear his shirt!" She set the shirt down and grabbed the brush and started to run it through the tangles.

"Yes you can. I've been trying to get rid of it anyway, but you know how guys are. Some just can't see that they look ridiculous when they dress themselves. You would be doing me a favor, believe me.

"Now hand me the dryer and well get your hair done and then you need to get ready." The rest of the morning was spent with Alice dressing me up like a Barbie doll. At least it was tone down a lot from how she did me up for the rodeo.

I turned around this way and that as I looked at myself in the mirror. I had to admit I did look good. The jeans were form fitting, but not so tight I couldn't walk. They actually made me look like I had a fuller butt than I did. The shirt fit me perfectly and because it was so worn it was very soft. Alice had me tuck it into the jeans and added a simple black leather belt with a silver buckle.

Of course she couldn't have just left it at that. She had added a pair of black boots that I realized she had just bought the day before as I found the box in her room. Thankfully she had forgone the big hair and hat. Instead she had woven my hair in a single braid down my back.

"So, are you ready to see how well your cowboy rides?" Was she ever going to stop with the raunchy cowboy jokes?

"I doubt I will be riding any cowboys at the moment. I don't want to mess this one up like the others. I really like Jake." It was unbelievable how much I actually liked Jake. And it scared me. With him my future was not assured. Alice had spent the night before explaining to me the rodeo life, and I was a bit worried. With all the guys before they never traveled, were always there when I needed them. If this thing with Jake went further than just today I knew I would be spending a lot of time without him. I mean, he didn't even live here.

He had told me of his family's ranch out in Colorado. I wasn't sure how this was going work, but by God I wanted it to.

"Ok, fine, fine, but don't be too much of a prude. You don't want him thinking he is never going to be getting any." I just chose to ignore her and went into the front room to wait for Jake to call.

* * *

When Jake knocked on the door only an hour later I had to push Alice back against the couch in order to keep her from answering it before me. I was sure I was a sight when I got to the door and flung it open. I was out of breath and I was sure my cheeks were flushed. For being such a small thing Alice was fast and strong.

"Hey Jake." I was glad that intelligent conversation was not needed from me as I was quite sure that I could not have said anything else. Jake stood there in a pair of old and worn jeans and a black t-shirt that did nothing to hide the expanse of muscles across his chest.

My eyes went from the top of his beautiful head all the way down to the pointed tips of his boots. And if they lingered a bit at the breathtaking bulge in between I doubt anyone would have blamed me.

"Would you two stop eye fucking each other and get out of the way. I'm still sore and would like to sit down." My eyes snapped from Jake to the man standing behind him. Paul had his arms crossed over his chest and was leaning against the wall.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" I cringed at Alice's screech. She had pulled herself from the couch and was now standing behind me. I knew that if I turned around her eyes would be trying to shoot flames at Paul.

"Don't get your panties in a knot Bunny, takes too long to get them off later." Wow, so Alice was right. Jake pinched his nose before turning and smacking his friend across the chest.

"Paul!" Shivers went up and down my spine at the growl in Jake's voice.

"Fine, fine! I'll be good, anyway you should get your lady and head out, it is getting late." Jake's shoulders relaxed as he turned around.

"About that he is right. Are ya ready?" I nodded, still unsure if I could say anything more than, yummy.

"Alright let's get going. It was nice seeing you again Alice." Jake held out his arm for me just like he did the first day. I slipped my hand through his arm and leaned into him a bit. We had walked down a couple of hallways before I realized that Paul was not following.

"Jake, um, where is Paul?" He looked uncomfortable for a moment before taking a breath and smiling down at me.

"I tried to talk him out of it, but believe me that is impossible when he wants something. Paul has decided that he should spend the day with Alice. You know, because you were going to be gone all day and he said it would be rude to leave her on her own." I felt like pinching the bridge of my own nose.

"You do realize this is not going to end well? Most likely one of them is going to be dead when we get back. Sad to say my money is on Paul's murder." Jake laughed a bit and patted my hand that was wrapped around his arm.

"I agree. Paul is a strong man, but from what I have seen of your friend….well she is just a bit scary." He didn't even know the half of it. I've actually seen her take down a man twice her size. Broke his nose and I'm not sure he could ever have kids now. Not after what she did with her six inch stilettos.

* * *

I watched as the land rolled by as we drove to wherever we were going. Jake still refused to tell me. When we had gotten outside he had helped me into an old truck that looked like it had seen better days. He assured me that the old girl was a good one and she would our run any of the flashy and new cars out there. I didn't argue the point. I learned long ago not to mess with men and their cars.

"You alright over there?" I turned around and noticed how he was taking quick glances at me from the corner of his eye.

"Yeah, I'm doing fine. Just trying to figure out where we are going. I've never been out this way before so…" He laughed softly. A sound I knew I would be dreaming about.

"A friend of mine has a place out here. I called her yesterday and she said she would be happy for us to come out for a visit." There had to be more of it then that, if he just wanted me to meet a friend of his why had he been so secretive?

"Ok…what are we doing?" I tried not to sound irritated, but I hated surprises.

"Remember the day before when we were talking about our lives? Well I have experienced the city life, it wasn't for very long at all, but it was something I have experienced. You said you have never once been out in the country, had no idea about the cowboy way of life." I nodded my head. It was true too. I may have seen a few movies and absently watched a rodeo or two, but I really didn't know a thing about the type of life he led.

"Well I decided that I would show you a bit of that life, it won't be anything big. But I do think you will enjoy it." As he said this he pulled down a road that soon I realized was actually a driveway. I felt my heart pick up the closer we got.

"Uley Stables? I did tell you that I'm such a klutz that I am a danger to myself and others, right?" He shot me a grin as he pulled the truck off to the side of the building and cut the engine.

"You'll be fine, I promise. Now come on, I want you to meet a couple of people before we head out for a ride." He jumped out of the truck and jugged around the side to open the door and help me out.

We hadn't even made it half way to the door when a woman maybe in her late thirties or early forties came bolting out the door and running right into Jake's waiting arms. He spun her around a moment before setting her back on the ground.

The woman was stunning. Her skin was a deep tan that looked soft and un-worked, though I could tell by her clothes and the small calluses on her hands that it wasn't true. I could have been jealous, but the motherly way she looked at Jake was enough for me to realize that these two had never been together.

Jake wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled the woman closer and right in front of me.

"Bella, I would like you to meet Emily Uley. Em, this is Bella, the girl I told you about yesterday." I nodded to Emily and held out my hand. She just looked me over for a moment, but soon enough a huge smile spread across her face and she pushed my hand out of the way and pulled me into a hug.

"I think you may have finally done it Jake. I liked Leah well enough, but she was not cut out to be a cowboy's wife. This one on the other hand…" She pulled back and if it wasn't for Jake's arm I knew I would have toppled over.

"Em!" She just waved at Jake and took my arm so she could pull me inside, Jake following behind.

"Sorry Sugar, I know I can get a bit excited. It is just Jake is a bit like a younger brother to me, I've known him since he was much younger. I only want what's best for him." I smiled at her and looked back at Jake, I swore he looked like he was blushing.

"It's ok, I know what you mean. My best friend and I are the same way about each other." Emily pulled me through the house until we entered the kitchen.

Standing at the counter was a young boy, I would guess seventeen, maybe eighteen. He was tall, close to an inch under Jake. He wore his hair long, just to his shoulders, but it didn't looked unkempt. In fact it looked silky. Why was it that guys could grow long hair that always looked soft and silky and us women had to spend tons of money just to simulate the look? It wasn't fair.

"Bella, I would like you to meet my son, Josh." The boy tossed the biscuit he had been eating back in the skillet, wiped his hands on his jeans and held out his hand.

"Nice to meet you, so are you going to be the new stablegirl?" He had stepped a bit closer and was leaning down over me. You would have to be blind not to see the hopeful look in his eyes. I felt a pair of arms come around my waist and pull me into a hard back.

"Cool it Josh." I tried very hard to keep from shivering at the feeling of Jake's voice against my back. By the slight squeeze of his arms around my middle I knew I hadn't succeeded. Josh let go of my hand and stepped back with his arms held up slightly.

"Hey, you can't blame me for trying. She's a pretty one." Josh winked at me and went back to finishing his meal. That boy was going to be a heartbreaker, there was no doubt about that.

"Hey Em, you mind if we head on out?" Emily smiled and just shook her head.

"Of course not. But only on one condition, that you two join us later for dinner." I was about to object, saying that I didn't want to trouble her, but Jake spoke first.

"Did you really think I would visit and eat anywhere else? You wound me Lady!" Emily laughed, a sweet sound that echoed lightly throughout the room.

"Well, you never know. Stranger things have happened. Now Bella, is fried chicken is alright with you?" I patted Jake's hands and pulled myself out of his hold. I wasn't sure I could talk at all with him all pressed up against me.

"Sounds good, thank you." She winked at me and gave a huge smile at Jake.

"Don't worry about it, you just go have fun. I'll call when dinner is close to being ready."

* * *

I couldn't keep my eyes off of Jake as we walked from the house. There was just something about him I knew all those other guys didn't have, even if I didn't know what it was. There was a strength I hadn't seen in my exes. It was in his arms, his legs and the set of his shoulders. But he was more, a lot of guys built as he was would be frightening. Not Jake, no he was comforting.

"Ya know I think you're rather pretty too." I lifted my eyes from where they had been glued to his chest to see him smirking at me. My cheeks quickly grew hot and I knew I had to look like a cherry. He laughed and we continued without speaking for a few moments.

I watched as he pulled a small pocket knife from his back pocket and flipped it open before slicing into the apple that he had taken from the kitchen.

"Couldn't wait for dinner?" I motioned to the apple when he looked over at me.

"Nah, these aren't for me. Come on, I'll show ya." He flipped the knife shut again and held the apple slices in one hand as he took mine with the other. It wasn't very much longer before I could see where we were going.

Just ahead there was a large paddock with several horses. I had never been near one in real life. The largest animal I had ever been around would be the Irish Setter I had as a child. I was a bit nervous the closer we got, even from this far away they looked huge. And powerful.

"Calm down Bella, they won't hurt you." I hadn't realized that I had been squeezing his hand tighter. I took a few deep breaths and relaxed my whole body. Once we reached the paddock Jake let go of my hand and placed a slice of the apple in it. He just grinned at me when I asked him what I was suppose to do.

He took a moment to finish slicing the apple and set out a few items I hadn't the courage to ask about when he grabbed them. Once done he came up behind me and slid one of his hands under mine and held it out palm up.

I almost jumped out of my skin when from behind me Jake let out a loud whistle. He gave a soft kiss on the top of my head and told me to just wait. Soon enough a few horses came running up and stopping just in front of me. I felt almost overwhelmed with this huge creature next to me. I took a few more breaths to calm down. Animals could too easily pick up on people's emotions, I wasn't about to find out if horses were better or not at it.

Before I realized what was going on one of the beautiful creatures had taken the apple slice from my hand. This was an experience that I had never thought I would have, but was now wondering why I had never done it before.

Eventually Jake had harnessed two of the horses. I just watched on confused as to what to do. Jake must have noticed my confused expression because he grabbed my hand and started to instruct me what to do.

This had to be a first for a date for me. I have been taken to movies, out to dinner at the most expensive restaurants, dancing. Edward had even taken me to Italy for the weekend once. But never had I been taken to groom a horse. The funny thing is that I realized all those other dates combined paled in comparison to this. Because this was a part of who he was. Sure all those other dates were fun at the time, but how much thought was put into them? How personal were they?

I ran the brush over the thick body in front of me. I quickly found that I was no longer nervous around them.

"Good, now the tail and mane. You're doing good Bella, I think we could have you a cowgirl in no time." He winked at me as he handed me another brush.

"I don't know about that. But at least I haven't screwed up yet." And that was one thing I was really worried about. I could just see me doing something to mess up and end up ruining things with Jake.

"And I doubt that will happen. And even if you do get something wrong it is alright, remember you are just learning."

After we groomed them a bit Jake told me it was time saddle them. And of course he wanted me to do it, thankfully not alone. He showed me how to place the blanket and the saddle. From then on I was confused even more as he spouted off words and instructions that I couldn't follow. He winked at me as he did it all for me making sure that I was at least paying attention.

I lost my ability to speak again when Jake helped me mount my horse. The feel of his arms anywhere near me made it harder to think. I just wanted to burrow myself in his chest and let him hold me. He waited beside me until he was sure I was steady in my saddle before he mounted. After a quick instruction on how to get my horse to move we were off.

I am not sure how to describe my first time riding besides, exhilarating. The feeling of this powerful creature beneath me, moving over the earth together.

I looked over at Jake and gave him a huge smile. I hoped with everything that I was that things worked out between us. Now that I had even the smallest taste of life with him I knew I wanted that whole damn cake.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok this has to be one of the longest chapters I have ever posted. Anyway this is actually just half of the chapter. As I got started on this chapter and the further and longer it got I decided to cut it into two parts. The second part should be up in a few days.

Also I know I didn't get to indepth with the horseride, and Deanna sent me some really good info on it, but I do plan on writing it a bit more indepth later on. And thankies again to Deanna for all the info and help she has given me on this, believe me when I say that without her this story would still be a oneshot. Also thankies to everyone else that have sent me info, I adore each and every one of you.

Up next chapter, besides some more Jake/Bella time and some info on Jake's past, we also will have some Paul/Alice interaction. I love writing those two. ;)

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own! Nor do I own Garth Brooks, Chris LeDoux or anyone else that I may mention, I just admire them.


	4. Big Brother

Chapter Three: Big Brother;

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(Jake's POV)

There are moments in life when time seems to stop. It is only ever for a second or two, but it is just enough time for you to imprint everything about that moment in your mind. Like the feel of your girl's skin against your's as you hold her hand. Or the sweet smell of her hair when she tucks her head beneath your chin as she wraps her arms around you.

Today time was kind enough to stop more than once. Her skin and her scent were only two of the many things I knew I would never forget about Bella. The rest? The smile on her face when she first opened the door for me, the steady sound of her breathing as we drove to Emily's. The way she took to both Emily and Josh. The surprise when she realized what we were doing and the way she leaned into me as we fed the horses. The giddy smile in her eyes as we started to ride. But most of all the way that everything with her just seemed perfect.

The only other time I had ever felt this way was when I had first started dating Leah. I had screwed it up with her, I refused to allow the same mistake with Bella. I doubted a man got three chances.

I held Bella's hand, it was so small compared to mine. I figured I could easily hold both of her's in just one hand. We were just walking around the stables after dinner, neither of us really talking much. I felt Bella stop and turned to make sure she was alright. She smiled at me and brought her other hand up to trace the knuckles on my hand.

"Can I ask you something? I understand if you don't want to, or think I'm prying to much, but…" I pulled her to me a little and placed one finger on her mouth.

"hey now, calm down. Ask away Bella, it doesn't bother me." She took a breath and a step back. I had a feeling already what she wanted to ask me, and it didn't bother me in the slightest. I probably should have explained all this to her, but I didn't want to start the day off on a sad note.

"I was just wondering how you knew Emily?" Still holding her hand I walked a little further to an old bench that looked like it had seen better days. I sat down and pulled Bella beside me. She was silent as I gathered my thoughts, something I was thankful for.

"I knew her late husband, Sam. When Paul and I were younger Dad had taken us to a rodeo, there we saw our first bullride. Both of us were amazed by those cowboys and as young boys are we both knew that was what we wanted to be. Many boys change their minds several times as they grow up, but not us.

"Dad found out and tried to make sure we would be able to go to any rodeos that were around where we lived. The year I turned ten we went to one of the bigger rodeos. Paul and I were both excited, nothing beat watching the rides. Many of the cowboys we had either heard of or seen, all of them but Sam Uley.

"I still remember seeing him climb over the chute and onto his bull. He was so unlike the other cowboys, taller and he had this look in his eyes. It wasn't fear or excitement like many of the others, it was determination. Just looking at his face you knew he wasn't going to allow that bull to get the best of him. He had the look of a man going to war with the knowledge that he was going to win." I looked away from Bella for a moment and up to the sky. I may have decided before that day that I was going to ride, but it was watching Sam that turned it from a dream to a passion.

"He rode like no other man I had ever seen. To say Paul and I were impressed would be an understatement. After everything was over and we were headed back out to the truck we ended up running into Sam.

"We got to speak to him and he answered all our questions without complaint. Dad ended up offering him a place to stay whenever he was going to be riding any of the rodeos near us. I never actually thought he would take Dad up on it, but I'm thankful that he did." I let go of Bella's hand and slid my arm behind her, she quickly snuggled up against my side.

"That must have been exciting, having the man that you admired stay with you." I nodded and squeezed her a little closer.

"I was, but not just because he had become our favorite cowboy. When he found out that the both of us were serious about riding he decided to teach us a few things. The three of us ended up becoming really close, he was like a big brother.

"When he was on the road or here at home he would call us, asking how we were coming along. The fact is that if not for Sam I doubt either Paul or I would have gotten as far as we did as quickly." I closed my eyes and rested my head atop of Bella's. Sam had really been like a big brother, it was sometimes unreal that he was gone.

"You said he was gone, I am guessing that it wasn't a natural death." Bella laid one of her hands on my leg and squeezed knowing that I needed a bit comfort.

"No, it wasn't. It was the year before either Paul or I rode in our first rodeo. Dad, Paul and I saved up enough in order to make it out to see him ride in Wyoming. We got to talk to him before he rode as always. We took our seats and watched the others.

"I can't explain the feelings about what happened right after the chute gate opened and Sam came out. His bull was bucking and twisting, and sometimes you just can't hold on no matter how hard you try. No one is sure what exactly happened, but when he was bucked off he landed on his head just right. The doctors say that he died instantly and wouldn't have been in pain." I stopped for a moment to take a breath, by the time I was composed enough to speak again Bella had sat up straighter and was holding onto me instead of the other way around. I smiled down at her.

"No one really knew what was happening at first, his bull was still being led away. I think most people thought Sam was just hurt too much to move, you could hear several people in the crowed calling out for him. Dad was the first one to realize that something was wrong. It was when I heard his choked sob that I noticed that Sam's head was angled wrong, he had snapped his neck." We were both silent for a moment. I could still remember the moment that everyone realized that Sam was dead. One by one the crowd quieted, it had been silent for a moment before you were able to hear the sound of crying.

"It's a wonder that your dad is alright with the two of you riding." I ran my hand through her hair, twisting it loosely around my fingers.

"He's not. Dad forbid us to ride after that, he would get worked up if he even heard us talking about other riding. Maybe watching the man you considered a brother die after being bucked off should have scared us away from the bulls, but it didn't. It did the opposite actually.

"It is not an easy road to travel, but Sam had stuck to it and before he had died everyone was talking about that being his year. The year he would go to Las Vegas, to ride with the best of the best. It bothered us that he died before he could." I remember the night Paul and I decided that no matter what we were not going to allow anyone to keep us from riding. Dad had gone to bed and we were just finishing up outside, I was suppose to meet up with Leah later. That was the night when my life changed most of all, the night when I set everything in motion.

"I know we hurt Dad, with what we did. He had come home one afternoon to find two suit cases on the porch and Paul and I starting up the truck. We had for awhile been saving every dollar we had just so we could ride in a small rodeo a couple of towns over.

"He had started yelling at us and when we still refused to unpack he told us that if we left not to bother coming back. We just grabbed our bags and left, not a word to him. It was something we had decided that he had to do, not just wanted." Bella had sat up at this time and turned on the bench so she was facing me.

"So, as I said, we left. It was our first real rodeo, even if it wasn't that big. Maybe we were a bit cocky, we wanted to beat those bulls so bad. We were not just riding for ourselves, but for Sam as well. We both got bucked off pretty quick. Thankfully with only a few scratches and bruises.

"We were both upset and as soon as everything was over we headed out to our truck. We hadn't had a place to stay, we planned just to sleep in the bed of the truck. We didn't even have money to eat, we at least thought to bring food from home." I laughed a bit at the way we used to be. We never really thought anything through, just had thought if we went out gun blazing we would get what we wanted. It resulted in many nights sleep in the dirtiest motels and going to bed hungry.

"When we got to the truck dad was there. He tossed us each a box of band-aides and told us that we were really going to be needing those. He got us a hotel room and though he hadn't said anymore about it we knew that everything was fine between us again. I'm not sure either of us would have made it this far without his help." Running the ranch wasn't cheap, and sometimes I felt guilty for leaving dad there even if he did have Embry and Quil working for him. And still the guilt isn't enough to keep me home, this wasn't something I could just stop.

"It must be hard for your dad, Emily too. All of you really, I've had hardships in my life, but nothing as huge as loosing a loved one." My eyes shot straight to her lips as she drew the lower one into her mouth and bit down gently. I just reached out and used my thumb to pull it from between her teeth.

"I hope you never have to. I can't really explain what Sam's death means to me, he was my big brother and my mentor. Paul's too. It is why we ride in memory of him. Both of us have an eagle sewn into our chaps, it was the same symbol that Sam had on his.

"I think it is the reason, that while both of us are competitive, we never allow the win of one of us to upset the other. When we win it is for Sam, when we finally make it to Las Vegas it will be Sam's win first and for most." I could see Bella's eyes grow a bit wet and knew it was time to lighten things up. I stood up and grabbed her hands, pulling her up and into my arms.

"And I'm hoping that you will be right there with me. I'm going to enjoy the look on the other guys' faces when they realize that you're with me." She giggled and that sweet blush of her's rose up her cheeks. I laughed a bit and leaned down to capture her lips with mine. She tasted perfect. When we pulled back she rested her head against my chest. For a time we both just stood there in each other's arms.

"When are you leaving?" her voice was a bit muffled by my shirt, but I was still able to hear the bit of sadness in her words.

"We head out tomorrow actually. Bella, look at me for a moment.' She lifted her head and her eyes had gone wet again.

"I hope you know that this wasn't all some ploy to get into your pants. I really like you and I want to try and make this work.' She smiled and I could feel as her fingers scratched the back of my neck lightly.

"The same for me." She went to rest her head against my chest again, but I held her back.

"You need to understand a few things if we are going to try this. I'm not going to be around a lot, when I'm not riding I'll be back home working on the ranch. I'll try the best I can to see you when I can, call you and write you, but it may be some time before we see each other again.

"Are you going to be able to handle that? Because if you have even the slightest bit of doubt it would be best to simply say goodbye now instead of putting ourselves all of this just for it to end." She looked up at me with those sweet eyes of hers and she didn't even need to voice her next words, I could see her conviction in her look.

"If you even think about saying goodbye I swear I will make you regret it. I can't say that I know everything will work out in the end, but I can say that even if is doesn't I know all this will be worth it. So, no goodbyes." I lowered my head and whispered just before I laid my lips on her again.

"No goodbyes."

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, not as long as I had originally planned it, but as I was writing I realized that adding the bit with Paul and Alice would have made the chapter sound jumpy. So next chapter will start off and be mostly those two.

So there is a bit of background info on both Jake and paul, I love Sam and had to make sure I put him in here even if he is dead...

Again thanks to Deanna, and everyone else that has given me info or simply encouragement. This story is totally different from anything I have ever written, I am just getting into all of this and am nervous about getting things right.

Disclaimer: Nope, don't own it!


	5. The Bunny And The Ass

Chapter Four: The Bunny And The Ass

* * *

(A.N. This chapter is going to overlap slightly with chapter two, when Jake and Paul first get to Bella and Alice's.)

* * *

(Alice's POV)

I pushed myself up from the side of the couch where Bella had held me down. It wasn't like I was going to say anything to embarrass her. I guess I was still a little bit excited, I mean my best friend was going out the Jacob Black, THE Jacob Black!

"Hey Jake." I looked over as Bella spoke breathlessly. Damn! She was such a lucky bitch! I don't think even Jasper looked that good in jeans. Don't get me wrong, I loved my very own cowboy, but I think Jake might just be one of the sexiest men on the planet.

"Would you two stop eye fucking each other and get out of the way. I'm still sore and would like to sit down." Oh hell no! If there was one man on this planet that I didn't want to see, it was the one now standing behind Jake. I moved quickly to stand behind Bella, my hands firmly on my hips.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Paul turned to look at me, that damned smirk of his curving his mouth halfway.

"Don't get your panties in a knot Bunny, takes too long to get them off later." I. Could. Kill. That. Man. No question about it. I couldn't understand a guy like Paul could be friends with someone as sweet as Jake.

I watched as Jake pinched his nose before turning and punching his friend in the chest. Paul didn't even flinch. Bastard! I bet he would do more than just flinch if I ever got to him. A good swift kick in the nuts with my six inchers should about do it.

"Paul!" My eyes shot to Jake, had he actually growled?

"Fine, fine! I'll be good, anyway you should get your lady and head out, it's getting late." Jake's shoulders relaxed as he turned around to look at Bella. Oh damn, what I wouldn't do to have someone look at me like he was currently looking at my best friend. Like she was the only thing in his world.

"About that, he is right. Are ya ready?" Bella just nodded, and I just knew she was having trouble speaking. I love the girl, but she was always one to play it safe. Even with my brother, she just picked guys she knew her heart and future would be secure. For once in her life she chose something dangerous.

"Alright let's get going. It was nice seeing you again Alice." Jake held out his arm for Bella and I just nodded at the two of them as they left. Once my eyes left the doorway I noticed that Paul had forced his way into the apartment, in fact he was now sprawled out across the couch.

"What the fuck do you think you are doing? Get your boots off the couch!" Paul of course just smirked at me, tucking his arms behind his head. I didn't think, I just marched across the room, grabbed his booted feet and tried to toss them to the floor. Now, it should have occurred to me that I had just taken on an impossible task. I was barely five foot, and Paul was built….really built.

I shook my head, trying to get the image of Paul I now had in my head to go away. The ass started laughing at me as I kept pushing at his feet. I glared at him, but it didn't seem to do much good. He just picked up his feet, and re-crossed them back on the arm of the couch. A couch, I might add, that cost several thousand dollars.

"I swear, you would think you were raised in a barn!" I huffed, braced myself against the end of the couch and grabbed a hold as tightly as I could to his feet. I pushed and pulled, but he remained.

"Well, when ya think about it, I kind of was. I'm not some pansy ass, city boy like your boyfriend." I dropped his feet, just staring straight at him.

"Ok, first of all, city boys are not pansy asses. And second, Jasper is hardly a city boy!" My hands went right back to my hips, when I noticed this I lifted them to cross over my chest. Edward would always tease me about that habit, telling me I was acting just like Mom.

"Jasper? Really? Shit, Bunny, I would hardly call that masculine." It took a lot out of me to keep from sputtering. What was wrong with this guy?

"Jasper is a family name, and before you say anything, the first Jasper Whitlock was a Confederate Soldier. Any member of the Whitlock family bare that name proudly!

"And, really like Paul is all that tough. It sounds more like I'm trying to spit something out of my mouth than saying a name." Apparently offended, Paul finally removed his feet from my couch. He sat up, and I figured he was going to leave. Sadly I was wrong. He simply removed his boots, threw them across the room into a corner, and returned to sprawling in front of me. Of course that now meant I had his stinky socked feet right in my face.

"Funny, most girls don't seem to mind my name when they are screaming it out. Maybe you should try saying it that way." Unable to say anything, I just growled, turned and stomped back to my room. I needed to re-organize my closet anyway.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

Ok, so maybe I shouldn't have stayed. Alright, I know I shouldn't have stayed. Not only was the girl best friends with the girl Jake was already head of heels for, but she had a boyfriend.

I was an ass of major proportions I knew, but I have never slept with someone else's woman. I've been on the other end of that kind of deal. Jessi was a sweet little thing, all curves and hair you could really tangle your hands in. It had taken me months just to get her to look at me, and when she finally did I didn't give up until I had been able to call her mine.

I was young, but I had thought she was my world. Only six months in to our relationship and I caught her with some guy in the back of his truck. I could have ripped that guy's dick off, thankfully Jake had been there to drag me away. Though, the dick was found bloody a week later, with a broken nose a several cracked ribs.

As I said, there were just some things I would never do. So, why I was still sprawled out on Alice's couch was beyond me. Sure, she was beautiful. Then again, so are many other woman, women who were unattached. And yet, here I was.

I could hear as Alice threw things around in her room, cursing up a storm. There was just something about that girl. Something I was beginning to think might just get me into some trouble. Thank God Jake and I would be leaving soon, before I did something truly stupid.

Speaking of stupid, I couldn't help my curiosity about what the little bunny was up to, and found myself up off the couch and headed towards her room. The door wasn't fully shut, and I could see inside as she tossed her clothes everywhere.

She really was cute. Small enough that I knew she would fit perfectly in my arms. I would be able to wrap her up completely in my body as we lay in bed. I was willing to bet I could fit both of her hands in just one of mine.

I just stood there and watched. I wasn't sure what she was doing, only that she had completely emptied the closet and was now placing everything back inside. I never could understand some things about girls.

It was easy to tell when she finally noticed me. She had paused for just a second before continuing with what she had been doing. Only this time her back was straighter, and she worked more slowly. After a few minutes I walked fully into her room and sat down on the edge of her bed.

"Look, Paulie Dollie, you don't like me and I really don't like you, so why are you still here?" I had to bite my tongue just to keep from responding to her little nickname, I really hoped she wouldn't say that in front of Jake. I would never live it down if she did. Instead of pointing out the emasculating name, I leaned back on her bed with my arms out behind me.

"I never said I didn't like you, and I'm really not sure why you don't like me. And frankly I couldn't care less." Right, so I didn't actually answer her question. What was I suppose to tell her, that I _really_ wanted to be rolling around with her in this bed, but because she had a boyfriend I decided I would settle for pissing her off instead? Yeah, that was not happening.

"Whatever! Look, Paul I'm really not in the mood to deal with you. I'm a little busy if you can't tell." With that she picked up several of the shirts she had thrown on the floor and set them on the bed.

I pulled a couple from the pile to look at. It seemed strange that a girl this put together had t-shirts, but even more so once I read them. One had a picture of a John Deere with the caption: 'It's not the size of the tractor that matters, It's how you ride it.' Several of them alluded to the stamina and size of a cowboy. Though I think my favorite had to be the one with a black and white sketch of a cowboy and bucking bull.

"Real men last eight seconds, huh? I can assure you that I can last far longer. I'm the most rank ride you'll ever have." Alice immediately stopped what she had been doing, slowly turned around and glared at me. Of course it would have probably been more effective had her face not been glowing red with a blush.

"You're rank alright, but not like you so obviously want to believe. Now, get the FUCK out of my room!" Realizing that I had just pushed the line too far, I set the shirts back down and stood up holding my hands up in front of me.

"Whoa there! I'm going, no need to get those pretty little panties in a knot." I slipped from the room and shut the door not a moment too soon as a shoe came flying. It barely missed my head.

I relaxed back against the couch again. I should probably just leave, but Jake and I were going to be on the road again soon and I wasn't sure when I would get to see Alice again. Plus, it was too much fun annoying the fuck out of her.

What did anyone expect? I did say I was an ass.

* * *

A.N. Ok, so it has been awhile since I've worked on this story. Sorry if this chapter isn't that interesting, I'm still trying to get the hang of this story again. Plus Alice and Paul just didn't want to work right for me.

Also, the t-shirts are real, the Eight Seconds one I actually designed.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	6. Gentleman?

Chapter Five: Gentleman?

* * *

(Alice's POV)

Rank? What the hell was his problem? Did I have a target tattooed on my forehead, or was he really that much of an ass? Thinking back over yesterday and so far today I realized….he _was_ just that horrid.

What happened to the sweet, smiling man that he showed to the world when he rode? There are hundreds of pictures out there of him holding some little fan, stories of him encouraging the youth to go out and grasp a hold of their dreams with both hands. He always seemed like some nice young, good All American, cowboy. Instead it turns out he was nothing but a self-centered, male-chauvinist, pig! Just goes to show you, you can't always believe what you read.

I shouldn't have let him get to me, but…gah! I carefully folded each of my t-shirts, only to toss them in my drawers in a messy pile. I would regret that later, I would have to re-organize the closet later. There was no way I would be able to sleep tonight knowing everything looked as it was. Jasper always teases me about my OCD when it comes to my closet. Once I had been too tired to put away my laundry, and so I went to bed with them still in the baskets. Only I hadn't been able to sleep, in the end I had woken Jasper up when I had gotten up at two in the morning to re-fold and put everything away.

Jasper….shit! I sat down at the end of my bed, looking over to his side. I have been with Jasper for years, and though we had never actually talked about it, there had always been an unspoken agreement that we would be married one day. That I would eventually move back with him to his family's ranch in Texas, and we would raise a family.

I missed Jasper when he was gone, and this time was no different. At least, well I still missed him holding me at night, missed making love to him. I still loved him, even though things had cooled slightly with time, became comfortable.

Never before had I allowed a man bother me the way I let Paul. I had always been able to let it just slide over my back. I had Jasper and I knew these men never had a chance, and that nothing they said was right. So why was I allowing Paul to bother me so much? Was it just because I realized the reality of the cowboy I had admired was less than perfect? I was sure that had to be it.

Making up my mind to not allow him any more power over me, I finished up my closet before heading out to the kitchen to make something for dinner. I was sure Paul would have been gone by then, of course it was just not my day and Paul was sprawled across the couch once again. This time he was flicking through the tv channels, thankfully with the thing on mute.

I ignored him as I went to the kitchen and began set things out to cook. I heard him as he got up off the couch and came into the kitchen to sit at the counter. Still I refused to even look at him. We both were silent as I cut up the chicken and set it in the brine to soak, pealed and cut the potatoes for frying, and set about to make a pot of sweet tea. Just the was that Jasper had taught me.

"You don't want to boil the water, you'll make the tea bitter." I rolled my eyes, took a couple of breaths, and answered in a calm and collected manner.

"I know that, thank you very much. I know how to make sweet tea." He just shrugged his shoulders and leaned on the counter top.

"Well ya never know. Once knew a girl that boiled it for five minutes, stuff tasted like liquid black-top." I shook my head and refused to say anything while I waited for the water to just start to 'sparkle.'

Paul didn't say anything else as I finished making dinner. He simply got up and grabbed him a plate once I had my own. We ended up eating in silence at the table, Paul shoveling down the food while I just ignored him. I watched as Paul had two more plates before he finally leaned back in his chair, resting on the back two legs. Would suit him right if it toppled over and he cracked that inflated head of his on the floor.

"That was good Garbage, Darlin'." I resisted the urge to roll my eyes for the umpteenth time. I think I could possibly like him if he just kept his mouth shut.

"Do you always have to be so crude?" Paul just shrugged his shoulders and rocked his chair back and forth slowly.

"Do you always have to be such a prude?" If it wasn't for the fact that my shoes probably cost more than his truck, I would have thrown one at him.

"I am not a prude!" Paul slammed the chair back down, causing it to squeak as he moved. If he left a mark on my tile I would show him just why girls wore pointy high-heels.

"No, guess I was wrong. I mean your shirts actually suggest you to be a wanton." Ok, I knew my mouth much have been hanging wide open.

"Gah, really now! I'm not a wanton either, you idiot!" I watched as Paul stood to move towards the fridge. It did not escape my notice that he walked like he owned the place, all self-assured and that. Bastard.

"Well you have to be one of the two. So which one is it? Do you keep those pretty legs of your's closed up tight, or are you a wildcat in bed?" I clenched my hands into fists, trying not to run over to him and claw his eyes out.

"Just…just fuck you!" I hated…_**hated**_ him! He of course smirked at me and shrugged his shoulders as he opened the beer he had gotten out of the fridge.

"Would be your pleasure." That was it, when Bella got home she was going to find it covered in blood, because I was going to murder Paul! Slowly and very messily. Instead of commenting, I just turned around and went to the front room. And as much luck would have it today, Paul followed and sat beside me. Thankfully he was quiet…well at first.

"Look, why don't we call it a truce for now? Jake and Bella will be here soon, no need to ruin their night." Ok, that was probably the last thing I had expected to come out of his mouth. I turned to look at Paul, only he was watching the muted tv. Why did someone that sexy have to be such a bastard? It just wasn't fair.

"A truce? Alright, I'm fine with that." I turned back around, though I wasn't really paying attention to whatever it was we were watching. This would have to probably be the strangest day I have ever had.

"So…where did Jake take Bella? He wouldn't tell her a thing." Paul shrugged his shoulders and settled further back into the couch. He looked so at home, and that made me feel rather disconcerted. Though I would be hard pressed to tell you why.

"Horseback riding." That was an image that made me inwardly giggle. Bella was such a klutz, I could just see the horse taking off with her screaming all the way, the horse coming back later without a rider.

"Ok…" Paul sighed and turned so his back was against the arm of the couch, his right arm flung across the back. It startled me to realize just how big the man was, that his arm reached far enough away that his fingers brushed the side of my neck.

"A friend of ours has a ranch nearby, and she said that Jake could bring Bella out to ride." I raised my brow at that.

"She?" Paul seemed confused by this and shrugged his shoulders again.

"Yeah, she. You got a problem?" I mimicked Paul and shrugged my shoulders once. I wasn't sure why, but the idea of him hanging around other women did bother me. Somehow, I just couldn't see this man having a normal, platonic relationship with a woman.

"Not really, I just wondered about what sort of payment this lady-friend of your's was going to want for lending out her horses." The way Paul's face changed so quickly would have been funny if it didn't look like he was about to throttle me.

"And just what does that mean?" I shivered at how low his voice went. It was normally rather deep, now though I could feel it rubble through my chest.

"Well, I just figured she must be one of your fuckbuddies. I really doubt you have ever in your life just been friends with a girl." If I had thought he looked angry before, now he simply looked like he wanted nothing more than to kill me. I swallowed as Paul stood and planted himself in front of me on the couch.

He leaned down, hands resting on the back of the couch on each side of my head, effectively pinning me in.

"I would watch my mouth if I were you, Little Girl. You shouldn't talk about things you know nothin' about. I don't want you ever to even think anything like that about her ever again, or believe me, Little Girl, I will make your life a living hell." I don't think I had ever been so afraid of a man before until that moment. I almost believed that he would have hit me if the door hadn't opened at that moment, Bella and Jake walking in.

Before anyone could say anything, Paul pushed off of the couch and stalked towards the door. He gave a nod at Bella, bid her 'goodbye' and stomped out of the apartment. Jake turned to watch him as Bella looked over to me, mouthing; 'What the hell happened?' I didn't answer, only shook my head to let her know I would tell her later. She just nodded and turned to Jake.

Still a bit shaky from that last encounter with Paul, as well as not wanting to intrude on the two, I went to my room. I ended up just sitting on the edge of my bed, trying to understand why Paul had gotten so mad. Every other time I made mention about his man-whoring he just shrugged it off with a laugh and a crude comment. Why was this time different?

* * *

(Bella's POV)

When Jake and I walked into the apartment, I think we were both expecting Alice to be yelling and spitting mad. So it was a bit of a surprise when we walked in on the two of them to find Paul looming over Alice, looking like he was about to bite her head off.

Neither of us said anything when Paul stormed out of the room, and Alice just shook her head when I silently asked her what happened. This day had been the best of my life, and I really didn't want the drama I knew was happening to ruin my good mood.

So, instead of pushing Alice, I turned to Jake and allowed him to take me into his arms. I heard Alice leave the room, but I decided I would deal with her later. Right now I had a cowboy in my arms and I wasn't going to waste this chance.

"So, are you staying the night?" Ok, that really wasn't what I was going to ask. So, I wasn't a virgin, but I also didn't normally sleep with a guy this quickly. Jake seemed just as surprised by my question, his mouth hanging open just a bit. Though I was sure by the hard heat against my belly that it wasn't an unwelcome thought.

"You're makin' it hard to be a gentleman, Kitten." To prove his point, he ground himself into me just a bit. All thought as quickly disappearing out of my head, I was really hoping he would take me up on my offer.

"You can be a gentleman and still stay the night." He cupped my face, placing a light kiss against my lips.

"I'm not sure I could. Forgetting that, I not only have to leave early in the morning, but Paul is waiting down in the truck for me." For the first time in my adult life I pouted. Jake just laughed and gave me another little peck on the lips.

"Believe me, Darlin', I want nothin' more than to strip you completely and spend the night mapping out your body with nothing but my lips and tongue. Sadly I know Paul, and when he is in that kind of mood there is just no dealing with him." I nodded, half disappointed and half relieved. I had never been so forward.

"Alright…" I couldn't finish my thought as Jake leaned down and captured my lips. This time it was anything but soft and chaste. His lips were bruising and they pressed against mine, urging me to open up. I didn't even think to protest, simply opening my mouth to him. He took control, taking, drinking from me all that he could. When he finally released me I could hardly breathe, my knees almost too weak to support my weight.

"Alright…" I giggled….God damned giggled as Jake rested his forehead against mine. We just stood there for the longest time, just breathing in each other. I was sure we would have continued that way if Jake's cell didn't start ringing.

Jake blew out a sigh and, without removing his head, reached back to grab his phone from his back pocket. He snapped it shut as soon as he read it. He didn't need to tell me it was Paul, the look on his face said it all.

"Next time I see ya, Kitten, I promise I won't be such a gentleman." With that he moved back just enough to lay a soft kiss to my forehead, before he stood back and straightened himself out.

"You'll call me before you leave in the morning, won't you?" I may have promised him that I didn't have a problem with him being gone all the time, but I knew I was lying. At least a little bit. I couldn't help it if I wanted to keep him by my side all the time. I just found him and I wasn't yet ready to let him go. Though I didn't say anything, if I wanted this relationship to work out I had to play by the rules.

Jake smiled, slow and sweet, and reached out to trace my face from my brows to my chin. He was quiet for a moment, of course just as I thought he was going to kiss me again Paul once again texted him. Jake dropped his hand and took a step towards the door. I followed.

"Of course, and every night as well. Now, I better get going before Paul comes up here to drag me away. I'll be seeing ya Kitten." With that he opened the door and left. I stood there watching as he walked down the hall. I waited several minutes, until I knew there was no chance he was coming back, before I stepped back inside and shut the door.

I wanted to hold onto the feelings from the date, from Jake's kisses, but I knew I had to check on Alice and find out just what happened.

When I entered her room, it was to find her sitting on the side of her bed, silent tears falling down her cheeks. I didn't wait for an invitation and just sat down next to her.

"Why are you crying?" Alice looked startled, and turned to me.

"I'm crying?" She lifted her hand to wipe against a cheek and looked shocked to notice the tears. Shit, this was never good.

"Alice what happened? Jake and I figured you and Paul would fight, but we really thought you would be the one mad not him." Alice shrugged her shoulders and got up. I followed her as she went to the bathroom and washed her face. I waited for her to tell me what happened, only when she finally decided to talk it was to ask me a question.

"So, how did your date go? Paul said Jake took you horseback riding." That was one thing about Alice, she always expected you to tell her what was wrong, but it was like pulling teeth to get her to confide in you. I decided to let it go for the moment, maybe if I talked about my day she would calm down enough to tell me.

"Yeah, he took me to a friend of their's ranch. He showed me how to saddle them and we rode for awhile, then Emily invited us to have dinner with her and her son." When I said Emily's name Alice's eyes got wide and her mouth dropped open. I swore she was even shaking a little.

"Emily? What was her last name?" I lifted a brow at the look on her face.

"Uley, why?" Even though it seemed impossible, Alice's eyes got even bigger.

"Fuck! Shit, shit, shit, fucking hell!" I blinked a few times, Alice was no goodie-two-shoes, she cursed a lot. But I had never heard her quite like this.

"Alice!" Apparently she hadn't heard me and ran out of the bathroom. When I caught up with her she had my cellphone that had fallen out of my jeans on her bed. I reached over and snatched it out of her hands.

"What do you think you are doing?" She ran a hand through her hair and plopped back on the mattress.

"Shit, Bella, I made a serious Bitch out of myself today." I sat down beside her and patted her knee.

"Aren't you always a Bitch?" She flung off the bed and began to pace the length of her room.

"This isn't funny Bella. Paul and I kind of got on each other's nerves today, yelling and screaming, but towards the end we called a truce…only I couldn't seem to keep my mouth shut. When he said a friend of their's invited you to ride her horses I might have…well alluded to the fact that she might ask for sex from Paul for payment." I was sure my eyebrows were on top of my head.

"Alluded?" Alice's shoulders slumped as she sat back down on the bed and placed her face in her hands.

"Ok, I actually called her his fuckbuddy and Paul got furious. Damnit! If he had told me who she was I wouldn't have ever said anything!" Alice mumbled a bit, but didn't say anything else to me.

"You know who Emily Uley is I'm guessing?" She nodded, but didn't remove her hands.

"Everyone knows who she is. Not only that, everyone knows who her husband was and how important he was to Paul and Jake. And I went and called the woman they both referred to as an older sister, a fuckbuddy, a whore! So wonder he looked like he wanted to kill me." She quickly shot off of the bed and rushed at me, trying to grab my phone. To keep her from getting it, I stuffed it under me.

"Come on Bella! I need to call him and apologize!" I just shook my head and forced her to sit down beside me.

"Calm down. Now, Paul looked pretty upset when he left, if I were you I would wait a day or two until he calms down himself. I have a feeling when he gets angry he won't listen to anyone." After a few minutes Alice nodded and stood to go get ready for bed. I didn't follow her this time, only went to my own room. Surprisingly, the drama with Alice and Paul didn't erase the wonderful feelings from my day with Jake.

I undressed and laid down on the bed, phone by my side. I wasn't sure how much sleep I would get, but I would try at least. The sooner I got to sleep, the sooner Jake would call.

* * *

(Jake's POV)

I didn't realize it would be so hard to say goodbye to Bella. There was just something about her, the two of us fit together perfectly. I haven't known her all that long, but I already knew this was it. It had to be. When we kissed I didn't feel those fireworks that everyone always went on about. No, when I kissed her it just felt right. Like we had been kissing all our lives, like home.

Sighing I looked over to Paul who was still sulking against the window. It would have been a perfect day if Paul hadn't decided to be a pussy.

"Are you going to tell me what happened back there?" Paul refused to turn around, his shoulders tense as he glared out of the window.

"Fuck off, Black." I ignored him, turning the corner now no longer able to see Bella's apartment.

"I could always just call Bella, I'm sure she got the story from Alice." Paul shrugged his shoulders.

"I said fuck off." I shook my head and pulled out my phone ready to dial Bella's number. Before I could though, Paul grabbed it out of my hand.

"Shit, sometimes you are such a chick. Fine, she called Emily my fuckbuddy and suggested that the only reason that she was allowing you and Bella to ride her horses was because I would repay her by fucking her. So I got mad, you know you would have too so don't say anything." I saw red for a moment, only to calm down when I took a moment to think. From what Bella had told me of Alice, she wasn't a mean person. There had to be something missing.

"She actually called Emily that? What did you tell her to make her say that?" Paul still didn't look over at me, and I knew he wouldn't. Emily had been like a big sister, almost like a mother to us. She had gone through so much with the death of her husband and having to raise her son alone. Both of us were a little protective of her.

"I didn't say anything, all I told her was that a friend of ours said you and Bella could go out to her ranch and ride." I furrowed my brows a moment, then shook my head.

"Paul, did you happen to even tell her who you were talking about? Did you even say Emily's name?" Paul stiffened, and that was the only answer I needed. Sometimes Paul jumped the gun, and it never failed to get him into trouble.

"You know, if you didn't you can't really get mad at her. With your reputation it isn't a surprise that she would come to that conclusion. And add in the way I'm sure you were treating her." We were both silent the rest of the way to the hotel. We were just opening our doors when Paul finally said something.

"Fuck it all Jake! Why do you always have to say something like that when all I want to do is be pissed. Shit!" With that Paul entered his room and shut the door. I just laughed and entered mine. I had to get what little I had packed so we could head out in the morning. I almost didn't want to go, but even some pretty thing wasn't about to keep me from those bulls. Death and only death would keep me from riding.

* * *

Author's Note: Well finally got that done! I swear sometimes RL and be a super bitch!

**Disclaimer:** **All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	7. Turning Out?

Chapter Six: Turning Out?

* * *

(Bella's POV)

Three days….it has been three days since Jake left and besides work all I have done is laze about and daydream about my one date with Jacob Black. As promised, Jake had called every day. In fact he calls every morning before I head off to work, and every night just before I head to bed. I've actually gotten little sleep lately because the two of us have spent several hours just talking and getting to know one another.

When Jake had first left I was scared that we couldn't actually have a relationship like this, but now I was beginning to believe that it might just work. Not that I wouldn't rather him be here where I could see him whenever I wanted, because believe me I would love nothing more than that. But after watching him ride that first time I knew there was no way he would give bulls up. And I was afraid saying anything would put a stop to this relationship before it could really get started.

I sighed and clicked on yet another link on my work computer. I waited, clicking my barely there nails on my desk, for the video clip to load. I took a breath before pressing the play button. I watched, tense, as my computer screen displayed Paul being tossed from his bull only to have the animal charge. I gasped and cringed as I watched as Paul rolled beneath the bull while the Bullfighters tried to distract it. The entire clip only lasted a few seconds, but it left me panting. This was the sort of thing that, could not only happen to those two, but had on several occasions.

I debated a moment about clicking the play button on the next clip that came up after I read the caption. It was suppose to be one of the greatest wrecks of last year, and it just so happened to be Jake. After a couple of seconds I pressed play and waited for it to load. When it finally did I realized I would have been better off just hitting the back button. I watched helpless as Jake was bucked off his bull, only to have his arm tangled in his rope. I almost threw up as I watched him flop around for a second. It hadn't taken long for the Bullfighters to distract the bull and unstring him, and the video notes revealed that he had dislocated a shoulder.

"You know, it is unbelievable that anyone would want to do that." Quickly I clicked the window minimize button and turned to find Jane, Mindy's replacement, watching the computer over my shoulder.

"Yeah, well, those cowboys are nothing like the guys you know." Jane rolled her eyes, flipping her shoulder length blonde hair off her shoulder.

"That is a given, I don't associate with crazy people." I had to work hard not to clench my teeth. Jane, a woman that was almost smaller than Alice, had been hired only four months ago after Mindy quit and ran away with some male nurse she had met. Now, I had never been great friends with Mindy, but at least she was a Queen Bitch like Jane. The woman sold paper gowns and bed pans for goodness sakes, but she always acted like she was some great business woman.

"They're not crazy Jane, I think the word you were looking for is 'brave.'" Brave, strong, wonderful…I really could go on.

"Ha! Brave! Try stupid, who in their right minds would get on the back of some ugly, hundred pound monster?" What I wouldn't give to be able to just deck the woman!

"A hundred pounds? You're kidding right? Try around two-thousand pounds of pissed off bull with one thing in mind, to make that cowboy regret ever being born." Ok, so that may not have helped my case, but from what I'd seen I wouldn't call those cowboys actually crazy.

"Right, whatever. I couldn't care less, and I'm surprised that you do. I mean look at those guys, I bet they smell." I could really curse Mindy for leaving, I really, really could.

"I can assure you they don't smell, not bad at least. Jake smells like leather and musk…." I realized my mistake in mentioning Jake when I saw Jane's eyes grew three times larger then they were meant to be.

"Jake? Oh, this is great! So what, you have a quick fuck with a cowboy and now think you are in love or what?" Ok, really, why was it considered unseemly for women to fight again?

"A quick….! I didn't have a one night stand with Jake, we're dating, thank you very much!" Jane just shrugged her shoulders and walked off to her desk. Of course not without throwing one last thing over her shoulder.

"Think whatever you like, Swan, from what I heard about those men, you won't be calling him boyfriend for long. If those bulls don't get him first, some cheap, cowboy hat wearing girl will." Deciding to ignore the Queen Bitch, I turned back toward my computer and pulled the window back up. I had to learn not to cringe every time I watched him ride. Maybe tonight when I watched the TV coverage of the first round I wouldn't have a heart-attack.

* * *

Thankfully Jane didn't bother me the rest of the day, not that her parting shot didn't. I spent my afternoon trying not to think about what Jake would be doing today. I knew it wouldn't do me any good to wonder if our relationship would end tonight, that Jake's life would end tonight.

I took my time getting home, stopping at the store to pick up a case of beer….and maybe a bottle of Jack too. I figured I was going to need it. Once I opened the apartment door, it was to find Alice curled up on one side of the couch, pillow held tightly to her chest.

Poor Alice, for the past three days she had been moping around. The day Jake and Paul left, Jake had called me and we ended up spending a half an hour talking about what to do with our friends. I had told him that after Alice had found out just who their gal-friend was that she had done everything but actually beat herself up over it. Paul, I guess, had ended up cursing Jake once he realized that he hadn't ever said Emily's name and Alice couldn't really be blamed. I had suggested Alice calling Paul, but Jake was adamant that, that would only make it worse. Paul would have to be the one to make the first move. So I had given him Alice's number for Paul. Paul still hadn't called.

"You know, I thought I was the one that was suppose to look like that tonight." Alice's head popped up from where she had been staring into space. She gave me a small smile and stood from the couch to help me with the beer.

"And you know you shouldn't be so worried. Jake knows what he is doing, he has been doing it almost his whole life. He'll be just fine." She had been telling me this since yesterday when I freaked out after Jake called to inform me that this weekend was a three day event.

"He might know what he is doing, but things can and do happen. I'm just not sure I can handle this Alice." He slumped down on the couch, resting the bag of Jack on the floor beside my feet. Alice came to sit beside me, wound her arms around my shoulders and pulled me into her chest.

"Yes you can, and you will. Are you actually willing to throw away something that could be the greatest thing in your life just because you are afraid? So he rides bulls, even if he didn't something could still happen to him. Car accident, caught in crossfire, some illness, hell even a freak office accident." She sat me back up straight and grabbed a hold of my chin, making me look at her.

"Do you really want to go back to being safe? To marry someone like Edward, have a safe little house in the suburbs with 2.5 kids and the cute yipping little dog? To spend your life in pastels, getting upset over the littlest amount of dirt? Is that what you want, a safe boring little life with some 'beige' banker or something, all because you're too afraid to take a chance? To actually have to rely on faith for once in your life?" I shivered at the image her words brought to mind. That had once been my plan. I was going to find me the perfect 'safe' man, marry and have a safe life. The thought used to seem fine, like a happy life. Now, though, after not even a week after I met Jake, I found myself cringing at the idea. Somehow, since that date, I began to see life in denims, boots covered in dirt and mud, old trucks and horses.

"No, of course not. I'm sorry Alice, this is just new to me. I guess this is going to take me some time to get used to it." Alice just nodded her head and shot up from the couch, taking the Jack along with her to the kitchen.

"So, did Paul happen to call today?" I know I probably shouldn't have said anything, mostly when Alice slammed the two half pints down on the counter a little too hard.

"No, and I doubt he will. Jake told you about Emily, you know how important she is to the two of them. I insulted the one person they hold above themselves besides their own mothers. I doubt he will ever be willing to forgive that fuck up." I watched wide eyed as Alice poured her a double and shot the amber liquid down.

"Yeah, I would normally say you were right, but not now. You didn't know who you were talking about, he never mentioned her name. So it wasn't like you meant to insult Emily. Second, according to Jake, everyone, even Emily, would have thought the same thing about Paul. I guess he is known as a huge lady's man." Alice just ignored me and pulled out a stack of menus from the counter drawer.

"We've got a couple of hours before the event starts. Why don't you go shower and get comfortable and I'll order us some pizza or something." Realizing that our conversation was over, I nodded and left to get relaxed. Maybe a nice hot shower would help me calm down and take my mind off of Jake and bulls. At least for a few minutes.

* * *

(Jake's POV)

Taking a few breaths and stretching my neck out, I watched as Paul paced the length of the training room. It had been three days since we left Bella and Alice, and in that time Paul had talked only a handful of words. Now, Paul was not normally a very talkative person, but this was ridiculous.

I knew that he was angry still about what happened between him and Alice, even though he now understood that he really couldn't blame her. Not that something like that was enough to calm him down. No, instead he held a grudge and refused to call her even after I programmed her number into his phone for him. The guy made a mule look cooperative.

"Call her." This was the same thing I had been telling him ever since we got up this morning. Paul had been tense from the start, and I knew from experience that getting on a bull when you were that strung out only caused problems. Dangerous problems.

"No, I don't need any distractions right now." Yeah, like he wasn't already distracted? I watched Paul walk back and forth, ignoring all the training equipment. Normally before an event Paul would warm up, give a little prayer, and take time to center himself. He did this every time, just as I had my ritual before a ride, this was his. It was becoming obvious that he was not about to do any of those things.

"Would you stop acting for just a minute and listen to me? If you get on that bull tonight with the way you are now, they are going to be carrying you off the dirt in a box." It really didn't surprise me when Paul just glared at me before he resumed pacing.

"Nah, I've got a good draw." I was beginning to wonder just how much damage all those concussions he had suffered through the years.

"Are you kidding me? You drew a fucking widow maker!" TR Pack Alpha was one of the rankest bulls in the world, and one of the top three contenders for the Bull of the World. Neither Paul or I had yet to ride him, and knowing how distracted Paul was I was worried about him riding that bull tonight.

"Yeah, and I'm going to cover him too. You know I can, so just piss off and concentrate on your own ride." I watched, helpless to do anything, as Paul stormed from the training room. Bowing my head, I said a little prayer. Paul was going to need all the help he could get tonight.

* * *

The night proceeded much as every other weekend. The crowd cheered as the pyrotechnics display was set off, yelling out as all but the top five riders were introduced. My heart was pumping harshly as I had ascended to my platform when the top five were presented.

I watched as the other guys mounted their bulls, watched as the chutes opened and the ride began. We were now getting down to the top five guys, and so far there was only one qualified ride. Mike Newton on The Devil's Torpedo for 85 points.

Taking a deep breath I climbed down inside of the chute, flipping my chaps out of the way as I settled myself down behind that huge hump on F5. The bull bucked a couple of times, jerking my body back and forth. Thankfully not hard enough to throw me into the side of the chute.

This was the second time I had ridden this bull, the last time he bucked me off and hung me up. It was the ride that ended up causing the injury that cost me the world title last year. I was determined to make the whistle this time around.

I tuned out the crowd, focusing only on that beast beneath me. As I worked the rosin into my bullrope I said a small prayer; that I would make the ride, that I would survive those eight seconds once again. That this wouldn't be my last moment on Earth.

F5 bucked harder as I wrapped my hand down to his back. He was getting impatient, wanting to be let loose. With one last test of my hand and position I nodded and held on as the chute gate was flung open.

For most people eight seconds is hardly enough to time register anything notable, but for those of us sitting on the back of a bull it was an eternity. F5 twisted right, bucking and kicking almost vertical. Around and around he twisted, but I refused to allow him to get the better of me again. When the eight second whistle shrilled through the arena I reached down to grab my rope tail, quickly freeing my hand and dismounting. I hit dirt and ran like hell as F5 charged straight for me, thankfully soon distracted by the Bullfighters.

I hung onto the chute gate as the crowd screamed and hollered, going wild as my points were announced. I punched the air, hollering myself as my 91 point score showed up on the screen. I looked straight at the camera as I walked back behind the chutes, winking and mouthing a hello to Bella.

Everyone slapped me on the shoulders and back as I took my place to watch the last couple of rides. My elation quickly diminished as I realized that Paul was next. I tried not to listen as I heard everyone talking about how rank TR Pack Alpha was, what had happened to the last guy to attempt riding him. My eyes shot straight to the dirt as the crowd clapped.

I couldn't move as TR Pack Alpha shot from the chute, Paul sitting a top him in perfect position. Fir just a second it looked as though Paul might actually last, but in one turn Paul slipped, falling Down in the Well as his bull just kept turning and bucking in one direction. After only five seconds Paul lost his seat, his left leg flying up into the air effectively causing him to be hung up.

For just a moment I feared that I had just lost my brother, but quickly the Bullfighters ran in, freeing Paul's hand and pulling him to safety as two others distracted TR. The crowd went silent as everyone waited to see if Paul was alright. My heart started beating once again as soon as the arena filled with cheering. Paul was standing, though favoring his riding arm, and making his way behind the chutes.

Even though Paul glared at me as he went by, I couldn't be upset. Paul was one lucky bastard, he could have easily been killed tonight.

* * *

Sitting on the edge of my hotel bed, I waited for Bella to pick up her cell. After the round, Paul and I drove back to the hotel in silence. That had been an hour ago, and I hadn't seen him since we returned to our rooms. I knew he was probably beating the shit out of himself, he always did when he bucked off.

"Jake! My God, is he alright?" I laughed a bit at how Bella answered her phone.

"Yeah, he is fine. Pulled his arm a bit, most likely will have a bit of bruising, but other than that he was lucky." Bella sighed and I realized she must have been worrying this whole time.

"What do you mean lucky?" I hesitated in telling her only a moment. I didn't want to scare her, but if we were going to make a go of it, it was important that she know what could happen.

"TR Pack Alpha is known for sending his riders Down in the Well, what happened to Paul tonight. That is dangerous on any bull, but on TR…the last guy to draw him, Marcus Valturi, is having to relearn how to walk after having his legs and back broken when he was hung up." I heard Bella gasp and could hear the hitch in her breathing that I was sure was caused by tears.

"Oh my God! I…I don't know….oh God…." At that moment I wished I was there so I could hold her in my arms. This was the first time I had dated a woman that didn't know anything about Bull Riding, I had never had to explain about the danger involved.

"Bella…I told you how dangerous this sport is, even though there are a lot of new precautions then there used to be, there is always the chance that the next ride will be my last. Whether because I've gotten injured too bad, or I've been killed.

"I feel that now you understand that a bit better, that I should ask you something." I stopped talking for a moment, taking a deep breath worried that what I was about to say would end things now.

"Are you sure you want to be with me? I won't hold it against you if you decide that you can't handle this way of life. I would rather not be with you, than have you end up resenting me because of this." I held my breath as I waited for Bella to speak. Thankfully I didn't have to wait long.

"I'm tired of being safe, Jake. I'm tired of choosing things in my life because I'm too afraid of getting hurt. I've already thought over whether or not I can handle this life, and I've decided that you, us, is worth the hurt if it happens. I'm not backing out….do you want to?" Her voice was a little uncertain with her question and I wanted to hit myself for making her doubt me.

"I'm not turning out." Bella's relieved sigh came through the phone, prompting me a smile. I've never turned out in any event in my life, and I didn't plan to in my personal life either.

For the next half hour Bella and I simply talked, mostly about our day. By the time she had finished telling me about her annoying co-worker I was starting to get tired.

"Bella, Sweetheart, I don't want to say goodnight, but I'm going to have to sleep. I've got a long day tomorrow." Long really didn't even cover what tomorrow actually. Besides riding, I knew I would have to deal with Paul. That was something I wasn't sure I could do. Paul either needed to talk with Alice and clear the air, or he would need to turn out. Though, knowing him he wouldn't do either, and I wasn't looking forward to another night like tonight.

"I understand. Since I took off Monday I have to go into work tomorrow anyway, so I should be getting to sleep as well." I was about to tell her goodnight when I quickly shut my mouth. Though we had agreed that Paul would have to be the one to make the first move, I was afraid he wouldn't in time. There was only one thing I could think of to do.

"Alice is going to have to be the one to call him." I could hear the bed springs of Bella's bed through the phone as she shifted. This was something I knew could potentially turn out very badly. Paul was very proud, but we had to try something. If he tries to ride again in his state of mind and with a bruised shoulder he could easily end up in the hospital.

"Do you think he would listen to her?" No, I was sure he wouldn't, at least not at first. Though, from what little I know of Alice, I was sure she could get him to talk.

"We have to try something, and this is the only thing I can think of besides tying him to his bed with his bullrope so he wouldn't be able to show. Paul is stubborn, and even though he is so distracted he would still ride." Though it wouldn't be the first time, nor the last, that his stubbornness put him in danger.

After giving Bella Paul's number we said goodnight. I shut my phone and settled down on top of the blankets. I wasn't sure Paul would actually listen to Alice, or that I hadn't just started World War Three. But at least I had tried, if it didn't work I might just tie the bastard up and relay his turn out for him. He would end up killing me for it, but it was better than Paul in the hospital.

* * *

(Alice's POV)

My fingers hovered over the keys of my keyboard, my mind unable to concentrate on editing the fashion article I had been assigned at work. I knew I had to get it done this weekend, but all my mind could focus on was Paul's wreak. I had seen worse, hell I had been watching the night that Marcus Volturi was busted up by that same bull. Still, I didn't know MV, I had never spent the day with him, fought with him. For the first time since I had started following bull riding, I realized just how dangerous it was.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I hadn't realized that Bella had entered my room until she sat a small scrap of paper down on my keyboard. I looked down at the number written across it in Bella's handwriting, then back up to Bella.

"Ok, and that is?" Bella picked up my cell from beside me and flung into my lap. She turned and left my room, stopping just at the door to speak quickly over her shoulder.

"Paul's number. Jake thinks you should call him tonight, work things out between you. You know, before Paul gets himself killed because he is distracted." With that she left, closing my door behind her. I just sat there for awhile, staring at the number on that little piece of paper. Since they had left I had been bothering Bella to allow me to talk to Paul, but now that I had his number I was nervous.

Taking in a deep breath, lifting my chin and steeling myself, I grabbed my phone and dialed the number. I was no coward, and it was time that we worked this out. No matter how much we disliked each other.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

Rising slowly from the tub, I groaned. My entire body hurt, my shoulder and arm already a deep purple. I rolled my shoulder, holding back a growl that wanted to escape my throat at the pain. Not even the hour soak had helped. Tomorrow was going to be hell, but, fuck, I wasn't turning out.

Cursing the entire time, I dried off and walked to my room without bothering with clothes. I stared at my bed, this was the first night in a long while that I hadn't had some Buckle Bunny warming those sheets for me. Not that there hadn't been any sweet little honeys that I could have brought back here, but I was in no mood for sex.

Carefully, I sat down on the edge of the bed and pulled out a cigarette from the crumpled package on the bedside table. I leaned against the wall after lighting it, lifting one leg to rest my hand on my knee. For a few moments I just sat there, pulling on my smoke and trying to figure out where I had gone wrong on TR.

Fuck! I knew I could have ridden that damn bull, even if my points had been low. I had been Down in the Well before, on bulls ranker than TR, so how had I end strung up?

Taking another drag I looked at the table beside me where my cell rested. The thing was going off, though I didn't recognize the ringtone. I picked it up thinking that Jake must have fucked with my phone, only to look down at the name and number.

Alice.

Jake had been trying to get me to call her since we left them. I knew I probably should have, but I also knew that we would just end up fighting and I really wasn't in the mood to deal with that.

The phone just kept ringing, and I just sat there wondering.

Should I answer, or not?

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the little cliffy. Not too bad of one, but still.

Ok, anyway, sorry this took so long to get out. I've been a bit busy lately. I got to go to my first live PBR event and for awhile I was just too hopped up from it to write. Anyway, I finally was able to get this down.

Also, I will probably be doing a few more riding scenes, so I need all of you to help. I need help with bull names, as I don't want to use the names of real bulls if I can help it. So if you have any names, please do tell and if I use them I will credit you.

Now, Devil's Torpedo is thanks to SparkleingFae. And TR Pack Alpha is sort of a tribute to my fav site.

And one last thing….Just YAY! To Mauney, Sugar there was never any doubt. I knew he would make a ride, and now he has covered TWO bulls! …..

Um, ok yeah….anyway, hopefully it won't take me so long to update next time.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	8. Making Up

Chapter Seven: "Making Up"

* * *

(Paul's POV)

For just a moment I considered actually hitting the ignore button, but from what Jake had told me of the girl I was sure she would just keep calling now that she had my number. I would have to remember to break Jake's nose for that one. In the end I answered the damn thing, I set the phone to my ear and just sat there pulling on my cigarette.

"Hello? Paul?" I know I should have said something, but I was sore, pissed, and really not in the mood to fight. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall. I could see the little girl on the other line on the backs of my eyelids. Shit of she wasn't just the prettiest little thing I had ever seen.

"Fine! If you're not going to talk then you can just listen!" I smiled a little at the huff and bite in her voice. She was like one of those little dogs, a Chihuahua. She would bark and bark, even try to take a bite out of ya, but in the end she could do little damage.

"I'm only going to say this once, so you better be listening. I'm sorry, ok, I'm sorry. I had no idea who you were talking about, had I known I would never had dared to call her a slut. I know who Emily is to you and Jake, I never would have said that.

"Of course this all would be a moot point had you actually told me who you were talking about." I couldn't help myself, I rolled my eyes. It was better, at least, than snipping at her. I could tell she was getting annoyed when I continued to stay quiet by the little huffs she was making. It was actually kind of cute.

"Would you say something already?" Taking one last drag, I allowed the smoke to trickle from my nose and decided it was time to put the little bunny out of her misery.

"Actually you said 'sorry' twice." Alice growled on the other line, and I groaned to myself when I felt myself start to harden at the sound.

"Seriously Paul? I apologize and that is all you can say?" I thought about lighting another cigarette, even though what I really wanted about now was a shot of Jack. Instead I just crushed the butt of the one in my hand in the little dish on the table beside me.

"Ok, how about the fact that you never apologized for calling me a man whore. I mean, I think I take exception to that." Maybe I was teasing her just a bit, or really it was more that I wanted to hear her voice when she was angry. I had noticed that it went all high and she would get breathy, I imagined the squeel she made when angry was the same one she made when cumming.

"You know, I might have apologized for that had I not heard a few stories that Jake told Bella." Damn. Jake sure had a big mouth on him, I would have to add breaking his fucking jaw along with his nose.

"And just which stories has he been tellin'?" I was sure Jake wouldn't tell some of the more incriminating stuff, like the time I ended up strung up buck naked in the barn. That had been a great night, though the morning after when the girl had hightailed it out of there and left me tied to a post had been anything but fun. I knew Jake still had pictures, even though he swore he burned them all.

"About why you have to stay in a hotel when you are in Seattle." I banged my head against the wall. I might just have to simply beat the shit out of Jake. Sure that had been a fucking wonderful weekend, but it was not something I really wanted Alice to know.

Trish and Linda were two of the sexiest Buckle Bunnies I had ever seen, and two of the kinkiest. When I had brought them back to Emily's ranch after the event, they had wanted to play cowgirl in the worst way. I had never seen Emily as red faced as she was when she had walked into the stables and found the three of us.

"Alright Miss Virtuous, so I've got a healthy sex life." Probably a little more than healthy, according to Ol' Billy I was overdosing.

"Healthy? Are you kidding me? Jumping every tramped up Buckle Bunny that looks at you is nowhere near healthy. I mean, damn Paul how many women have you slept with since the beginning of the year?" I ran a hand through my hair. I knew she was right, but I had to sew my wild oats now, before I got all wrinkly and soft.

"I don't know, a handful maybe….I think." I could hear her huff on the other end and smiled wide. I could just imagine her stomping her foot like a little kid. Her lips would be puckered in a little pout and arms crossed over her delicious chest.

"If you can't even remember than I can assure you it is too many." I could hear bedsprings creak and realized that she must have been in bed. The thought that she might be in a barely there lace nighty, laid out along her mattress while she talked to me caused a good deal of my blood to rush south. That little woman was going to be the death of me.

"Oh, and just how many men have you been with since January?" I held back the growl that I felt crawling up my chest. I didn't want to think of her sharing her body with another man, not even the boyfriend I knew she had.

"Just Jasper, in fact I have been with anyone else but Jasper for years." I chuckled even though I didn't feel any of the humor I was trying to portray.

"Well, that's just boring." This time she growled and I could hear her bedsprings practically scream as she moved.

"No, that is being a mature adult. I'm in a committed and loving relationship." I laughed again and went ahead and reached for that cigarette.

"If it was so committed than why aren't the two of you married already? I might sleep around, but I would never take advantage like your Jasper is." I lit the cigarette and wondered what the hell I was doing. I wouldn't make a move on her because she was taken, I never wanted to be that man. So, what the fuck was I doing playing mind games with Alice?

"Taking adva….what? How in the world is he taking advantage?" Shit, shit, fuck, fuck! There was a bit of vulnerability and curiosity in her voice. I should just stop, but I was a bastard and couldn't seem to help myself.

"Well, you know the saying right? Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?" There was a bit of sniffling on the other end and I wanted to poke the damned lit end of my cigarette in my eye for upsetting her.

"What makes you think he doesn't plan on asking me?" Stop, just stop now Paul. Of course I didn't listen to myself.

"Why aren't you in Texas with him visiting his family? Who's idea was it for you to stay behind?" Now I was just pulling this shit out of my ass. For all I knew she hated his family and refused to go, or she had some big meeting and just couldn't get away and this had been the only time he had been able to visit.

"I had to work! He-he knew that and suggested that I should just stay home…that…that his family would understand even though they would miss me. Anyway, we are going down for Christmas." Maybe I should just allow Jake to beat the shit out of me instead. I couldn't believe I was being this much of a bastard. But I couldn't seem to stop myself.

"And how many months away is that? There is many a slip betwixt the cup and the lip." And guess who wins the Bastard of the Year award?

"You don't know anything Paul! Just because you can't commit to one woman doesn't mean every man out there is the same. Now, I said what I called to say and I'm just going to go before you say anything else stupid." Without even saying goodbye, Alice hung up leaving me sitting there painfully hard and actually feeling guilty for what I had done. Though, there was some part of me that felt like hollering in joy at the sound of uncertainty in her voice.

Make that the Bastard of the Century award.

* * *

(Alice's POV)

After hanging up on Paul I ended up just staring at my phone as though it had been responsible for what he had said. How dare he even think to discredit my relationship with Jasper! He knew nothing about us! Damnit!

Jasper knew I had work, not to mention he knew Edward had tickets for PBR, even though he would tease me about my obsession with PBR he never would have made me miss it. If it hadn't been for that he would have invited me, and Jasper had to go. His sister Rose was nine months pregnant and about to pop, he didn't want to miss the birth of his first nephew.

For a moment I actually thought about tossing my phone across the room, instead I just sighed and set it down beside me. What was my problem? I loved Jasper, and I knew we would get married. We were young still, we had time. Still, why was my stomach churning after Paul's words? Hell, why was I even thinking about that bastard?

Resolving not to think about him, I stood to get myself ready for bed. I was not two feet from my bed when my phone started going off. At first I had the stupid thought it was Paul, but when my heart calmed down I realized that it was the ringtone I had chosen for Jasper.

I worked to slow my breathing and answered, I was immediately calmed by the soft drawl on the other end.

"Hey Sugar Babe, how're ya doin'" I slipped back down onto my bed, suddenly feeling guilty, though not really sure why.

"Good, was just getting ready for bed. Is everything ok with Rose?" Rose and I may never be the best of friends, but I did like her.

"Yeah, actually that is why I called. She went into labor early this morning, she gave birth this afternoon." Despite that strange feeling of guilt I smiled from ear to ear. Rose and her husband had been trying for a few years now to get pregnant, Rose finally got pregnant when they were about to just give up.

"That's great, what they name him?" I could practically hear as Jasper rolled his eyes.

"Emmett wanted to name him something like Hulk McCarty, Rose threatened to completely cut him off, in the end they named him Justin Wyatt McCarty." I rolled my own eyes. Emmett had been threatening to name his son Batman or some other stupid name, though it was mostly all just playing around. Emmett knew Rose would castrate him if he even tried.

"J.W.?" Jasper hummed a bit in agreement, the creak of a chair coming through the phone line.

"Yeah, though Rose really wanted to name him Jasper after me, but Ma told her she should save that name for me to name my son." I laid back against my pillows, an image of a little boy sleeping in my arms. Until that moment I didn't realize just how much I wanted to be a mother. I shook off the thought and listened as Jasper continued.

"I told Ma that she should just allow Rose to use the name, but you know how she is. It is tradition that the name is passed down through the sons of the family, not the daughters." I bit my lip to try and keep the question I wanted to ask in. In the end I took a chance.

"Don't you want to use the name?" Jasper let out a little breath, the chair he was sitting in creaking a bit more.

"It's not that, it's just I'm not sure I want kids. Rose might as well use it in case I end up not having any." I clenched my eyes shut, trying not to bring up that image of me holding little Jasper Jr. I thought several questions to ask him. Like; did he ever plan on getting married? Was he planning on ever asking me? If so, what if I wanted kids? Instead of asking any of them I did something I had never done before. I lied to the man I loved.

"Jasper, Honey, I would love to talk to you some more, but would you mind if I just called you back later? I'm tired and I think I'm getting a headache." I had always told Jasper the truth, I've never faked a headache. It was something we both agreed to in our relationship, no lies, no secrets. And now here I was breaking both of them.

"Of course Sugar, I mainly just called to tell you that since J.W. has been born and is healthy, that I'm only going to stay a couple of more days. I should be home by Wednesday." I wiped away a tear that was running down my cheek. What the hell was I doing?

"I'll be waiting. Love you and goodnight." I really hoped he could not hear the tears in my voice, he wouldn't let me go if he did.

"Love you too Sugar Babe, sweet dreams." As soon as he clicked off I broke down into tears. Damn Paul, damn him to hell! The hurt, the questions I was sure were Paul's fault. They had to be, cause nothing could ever be wrong between Jasper and me.

* * *

Author's Note: Ok, I know, no Bella and Jake, don't worry they will show up in the next chapter.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	9. Contemplations

Chapter Eight: Contemplations;

(Jake's POV)

I groaned, flipping myself over in bed as someone pounded at my door. There was only one person it could be, though I figured he could just wait. I was tired still, as well as sore. F5 was more than aptly named. My aching thighs could attest to that.

Sadly, the pounding at my door just continued. I'd have thought he would've been the one still lazing about in bed after that wreak he had, but of course Paul was an ass and would refuse to do what was expected of him. I pulled my pillow over top of my head hoping to get at least a few more minutes sleep. It appeared that anything I did was in vain though.

"Get your ass up Jake! We've got to get to the event center to start warm ups. If you're not up in the next few minutes I'm calling Bella to tell her you chickened out." Another groan passed my lips as I rose from my bed. The fucking idiot wouldn't even blink an eye in carrying out his threat. Once, when we were younger, he had called Leah after I ruined his night. It took me two weeks and several hours on the phone to convince her that Paul had been an ass and had lied through his fucking teeth. I should have realized it then, that Leah and I were never meant to be, with how easily she believed that I had cheated on her.

"Shit Paul, shut the fuck up! I'm up, why don't you make yourself useful and go find something to eat." I could hear Paul huff at the door, but thankfully he didn't say anything. Instead I heard his footsteps as he walked away. Hopefully in search of breakfast.

Pain shot up through the bottoms of my feet, sliced through my calves and settled in my lower back as soon as I set foot on the floor. I muffled a curse before I could shout it out. That was something I had learned long ago, back when I had still been with Leah. At first her coddling was actually nice. She would rub down my feet and legs, among other places. Eventually though that pampering turned into her scolding me. Trying at every turn to keep my from flying out to the next event.

The glint of my phone sitting on the lamp table caught my attention. I picked it up pulled up my messages, scanning through the various ones from Bella. A smile crept its way across my face and I couldn't resist texting Bella. It might have been a bit of a bad idea texting before I had my coffee, hopefully she will end up finding it funny.

Paul was once again banging on my door by time I had hit send. Sighing I trudged to the door, flinging it open not even caring that I was flying free at the moment. I had seen much worse from him.

He just raised an eyebrow at me, told me to get fucking dressed before I scared the kiddies, and barged into my room looking like he had just robbed the local Dunkin' Doughnuts.

* * *

I stood with my back against the wall of the training room, watching as Paul stretched. It was nice to see him acting like himself again, if you can believe that. Still, I had to wonder what Alice and he had talked about to straighten him out.

"So, I take it that everything went fine with Alice last night. The two of you get things straightened out?" Paul stopped what he was doing to just glare at me. I knew he would be pissed at me for giving her his number, but for fuck's sake someone needed to do something.

"I should really beat the shit out of you. A broken nose shouldn't mess up your game too much I would think." With a flip of his finger he went back to his workout.

"Well, it couldn't have been that bad, you stopped acting like a damn emo." I could hear him growl, but ignored him. I should have just shut the fuck up, but all of this was strange. Paul had never acted this way with any woman before.

"You did apologize, didn't you?" Their was a loud bang as Paul smacked his hand into the wall.

"Fuck it Jake! I wasn't the one that did anything. Now, shut the ever livin' fuck up. If you haven't noticed it, I have a dick not a pussy, and don't feel the fucking need to spout off my feelings to you." Paul growled loudly that time, turning his back to me. I couldn't help but laugh. Paul had never been one to voice his feelings, at least verbally. Though out of the two of us, he was the easiest to read.

I shook my head and went back to my own workout. There was something going on with him and Alice, even if that little girl didn't know it. I just hoped that when it finally came to a head there wouldn't be too much collateral damage.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

My cheeks, I was sure, were bright red. My face felt so hot that I could feel my eyes start to water. I blinked a few times, but sure enough, the text on my phone didn't change.

It wasn't at all strange for Jake to message me in the morning, normally he would send me a greeting that started with; "Hey Beautiful." All every innocent texts, things I wouldn't care if anyone else read. This on the other hand, while not very graphic, it was definitely suggestive.

I re-read the text once again, my face burning even hotter as an image of the two of us popped up into my head.

_Hey Sexy, think you and me could make the confetti fly? _

All I could think about was the two of us in some barn, spread out on a blanket in the loft. After watching him on the back of a bull, I had no doubt that Jake could move. I could feel the blood rushing to my cheeks and pounding much lower in a steady and infuriating rhythm.

I took a moment to calm myself, texted Jake back, and decided that I really should get ready for work. Thankfully it would be quiet today, there was something to say about working weekends. One didn't have to deal with bitch co-workers.

* * *

After showering I donned my weekend work clothes. IE; yoga pants with hot stuff printed on the ass and an old Rolling Stones t-shirt. This was, of course, another advantage of working Saturday.

Alice was sitting at the table when I entered the kitchen. I couldn't have been more shocked by the way she looked. She had yet to shower, her short hair sticking out every which way. She wore no makeup, hadn't even dressed. She sat there with her head bent over a steaming cup of coffee in a pair of old sweat pants and one of Jasper's shirts. She looked truly pitiful.

"Oh my God, Alice. Did someone die or something?" She looked up at me from under her mussed hair, sending a truly weak glare my way. I stifled a laugh at the look and went to pour my own cup of my morning drug.

"I'm just tired. Jasper called last night and we ended up staying up talking late." I turned away from the counter at once again watch Alice. I knew she missed Jasper, but this wasn't the first time they had been apart. She had never looked this bad before. I had seen her once stay up at a party until five in the morning, than after waking up at seven walk out of the apartment looking like she just came off the runway.

"That must have been some phone call. Nothing bad happened between you two did it?" Alice flipped her hand in the air, as though that would be answer enough for me. When I just glared at her myself, she huffed and took a sip of her coffee.

"Nothing happened. We just talked about Rose. She finally had her baby yesterday." I sat down figuring I could spare a few minutes. I would be the only one in the office today, I would just stay a few minutes later this afternoon to make up the difference.

"Ok, so this is a good thing right?" She nodded, but she refused to look back up at me, her eyes glued to the black ambrosia in her cup. While looking at her I realized I forgot that I had give her Paul's number. I was sure he hadn't ruffled her feathers enough to cause her to look like this, but one never knew.

"So, did you ever call Paul last night?" Though most people wouldn't have caught it, I had been friends and living with her for so long now I immediately noticed when her shoulders stiffened just a fraction. Her hands curled around her cup just that much harder, and her lips thinned out as she pressed them together. She remained like that for a moment before she finally relaxed and tried to act like nothing was wrong.

"Yes Mother. I called the ass, apologized too." I rolled my eyes at her, she never did realize that she got rather flippant when she got defensive.

"Good, I know that you didn't want to do it, but seriously Alice Jake and I only want the two of you to get along. Or at least be civil to one another." Alice took another large gulp of her coffee. I was beginning to wonder just how many cups she had already.

"Don't worry Bella. I said I was sorry, he said it was alright. We tried a few insults, now we are back to normal. I will try to be civil to him for your sake, but I hope you realize that we will never be friends." I nodded at that. Those two fought more than Tom and Jerry.

"I figured that. I would probably have a heart attack if you ever said anything nice about each other. Though, I'm not sure he would have as much of a problem with it as you would." She looked up at me after that. Her eyes were wide, and if I didn't know better, scared.

"What? Why would you say that?" I made a scoffing noise as I stood to set my coffee up in the sink.

"Oh, come on Alice. Paul is like a little boy on the playground. He is pulling your pigtails, surely you figured that one out already." With eyes still wide she shook her head.

"You are out of your mind, and just about late for work too." Deciding to let the conversation lie for awhile, for I was about to be late, I grabbed my keys and headed out the door. Alice was silent as I left, and I have to admit I was really worried about her. What could be going on that would cause her to look like that?

* * *

Work was just as uneventful as I had figured it would be. No one ever came in on the weekends, well mostly no one. Every now and then I would trade a weekday for working a weekend, thankfully my boss entrusted me with a key so I could work in peace.

And peaceful it was, what with Jane off. I took a few calls in the morning, mostly from new costumers that had yet to work out our normal schedule. Mostly the day though was spent entering orders into the computer.

The quiet gave me time to really think about the direction I found my life going. It seemed strange that I would change all my plans, plans I've had since I was a little girl, all for one man. Albeit, a very attractive man. Alright, sex on leg kind of man. Still, it was strange that I would do something like this. My Father would be appalled, and my Mother…well she would probably spout off something about following the winds of change or some other nonsense.

Anyone passing by the office's glass doors probably thought I was insane, sitting here quietly laughing at myself. But I couldn't help it. This was the first daring thing I had ever done in my life, and it felt wonderful. I didn't know where this thing with Jake was going, but I found I couldn't have cared less. I wanted it so bad, and I was going to make sure I got it.

Lunch found me wandering the office, salad wrap in hand. A single sheet of white paper caught my eye on Jane's desk. I wouldn't have thought anything of it, but I recognized the handwriting.

Even though I knew I shouldn't have, I still sat down at the desk and picked up the note with Edward's handwriting on it. My eyes just about popped out of my head as I read. It looked as though Edward had found himself a new girl to control. I found that all I felt about this was pity for Jane. That poor girl didn't know what she had gotten herself into, dating Edward.

Just a couple of months ago I was sure I would have run home in tears knowing that he had finally found himself a new girl, now I just wished them luck. I realized then how much I had changed.

I thought back to my mother's words when I was younger, about Fate and that. I had scoffed at the time, but maybe there was something to it. Maybe the reason I hadn't been able to make it work with all those "right" men had been because they had actually been the wrong men. Maybe I had always meant to be a cowboy's girl.

I had to laugh at that. It was time to get back to work. I really didn't want to be here all day, I wanted to be back home in time to watch the coverage of tonight's event.

* * *

(Paul's POV)

I leaned against the wall of the training room, bottle of water in hand as I watch a few of the other guys that had come in early. I try to focus on tonight, the bulls I would be riding, but the only thing my mind seems to be able to conjure up is the image of Alice.

I should feel sorry about what I had said, but I couldn't seem to give a damn past the fact that I know it had hurt her. If I had a chance to redo that conversation, you could be damned sure I would've said the same things. I know that makes me an ass, but at that moment I didn't give a fuck.

I flung my head back, hitting a bit harder than I had planed against the wall. I couldn't believe that I was fucking jealous of a man I hadn't even met. But I was. I couldn't believe that this Jasper had Alice and hadn't yet made her his wife.

All this was more than I could handle. I had only once thought myself the marrying kind. Back when Jessi had been my world, but after her cheating I had put away those thoughts. Now I found myself imagining a whole other kind of life. What would it be like being a husband? To have a wife waiting for me back at the ranch, sitting by the phone worrying about me?

Fuck! That girl was going to turn me into some sappy, poetry spouting pansy if I'm not careful. After taking one last drink of my water, I threw the bottle into my duffle and went off to talk to Colt Jones. That little shit still owed me ten buck when he lost a bet months ago.

* * *

(Alice's POV)

I scoffed at the movie I had put on the TV. I was beginning to think it was a bad idea to put on this romantic drivel. If Bella heard me she would probably be calling my dad, thinking something was wrong with me.

Maybe there was. I couldn't get the conversation with Paul and Jasper out of my head. Why hadn't Jasper asked me yet? Maybe there was something really wrong with me, maybe that was the reason why he didn't want me as a wife. Could I be the reason he didn't want kids? Was it me?

A slight tickle across my cheek causes me to realize that I was crying. I wiped it away and turned the movie off. After throwing the clicker across the couch I picked up the phone and dialed. The phone didn't even ring five times before it was answered and a soft, sweet voice sang out from the other line.

"Hey Mom." I wiped away another tear, hoping that Mom wouldn't be able to hear them in my voice.

"Hey my Baby Girl. Everything alright?" No, everything wasn't alright. My life was falling apart, and I didn't know what to do. Instead of telling her that though I just laughed softly and told her I was fine.

We talked about nothing for a while. Dad's practice, Mom's newest client and how the woman had no taste at all. Eventually there was a lull in the conversation and I knew if I didn't get out what I wanted to, I probably wouldn't ever.

"Mom, how long did it take Dad to ask you to marry him?" I tried to make my question nonchalant, but there must have been something in my tone because I could hear the worry in Mom's.

"We only dated for five months before he asked me. But Alice Sweetie, you know it is different for every couple. For some people it only takes a few of months, others a few years.

"Baby, why did you ask me that? Is there something going on with you and Jasper?" I took a breath in, holding it in and letting it out slowly.

"Jasper called last night, his sister had her baby. Anyway, he…he told me that Rose had wanted to name the boy Jasper, but that their mother wouldn't allow her to because that right in their family was reserved for the first son." I found myself crying once again and had to take a moment to calm myself down. Thankfully Mom just waited for me to continue on my own.

"So, Jasper tried to argue that Rose should be allowed to name her son anything she wanted and if she wanted Jasper she might as well. When I asked him why, didn't he want to use the name himself, he told me that he wasn't sure he wanted children.

"We had never even talked about it before, but I had thought we were headed in that direction. I mean Mom, we have been together for seven years. If he wanted to marry me, shouldn't he have asked me by now?" I was all out crying now, no sense in trying to hide it.

"Shh, now Baby. Calm down." I took a few deep breaths until I was able to stop my sobbing and sit quietly as Mom spoke.

"Now, you should no better than to jump to conclusions. Before you do anything silly you should wait until Jasper gets home and talk with him about all of this. It may not be what you think. He might not realize how you feel about all of this. Remember, guys can be dumb. In fact they are dumb and oblivious about ninety-nine percent of the time.

"He might think you are fine with the way things are and not want to rock the boat." I giggled at Mom's view on men. That was the same thing she had told me back when she had given me the sex talk.

"Thanks Mom, maybe I'm just overreacting. It is just that….well, I guess I've been thinking about my future lately." I don't know why I didn't tell her about Paul. Maybe I didn't want her being disappointed in me cause I was allowing another man come between me and Jasper. Whatever the reason, I couldn't stomach the thought of telling her about him.

"You alright now then?" Acting happier than I really was, I told her that I was fine and would talk to her later. We said goodbye and hung up.

The conversation should have made me feel better, instead all I felt was a heavy lump in the pit of my stomach. I wasn't sure I could do what Mom had said. What if I brought up marriage to Jasper and I had been right and he didn't want to marry? Would he leave me, afraid that I would do something to try and trap him? I don't think I could bear it if I lost him.

Wiping the rest of the tears away, I decided that I would just keep quiet for now. This doubt was better than actually loosing him.

Yes, in this case, silence was golden.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

The afternoon was just uneventful as the morning, I spent most of it playing around on my computer between filling out orders. When the clock struck five I was so relieved to be off that I almost forgot to shut down my computer.

I was surprised when I finally got home and opened the door to a quiet apartment. Normally when Alice had the place to herself she would blast the radio as she indulged in playing dress up. Alice truly was a character. I had once come home from a weekend shift to find her dressed up in a naughty nurse's outfit. I was just thankful she had only been trying the thing on and Jasper hadn't been anywhere in sight.

Now though, the absence of music or wild costume wearing roommate, worried me. I checked the kitchen, her room as well as mine. Finally I turned the knob on the bathroom door, when I opened it I was greeted with a sight I had rarely ever seen.

Alice had obviously decided on a mid-day bubble bath. Only all the bubbles had popped and I suspected the water was probably cold. There in the middle of the murky water was Alice, fast asleep.

I shook my head and grabbed the towel from behind the door. The only times I had ever caught her like this was when something had happened. The first had been after her grandmother had died, the second after her and Jasper had a bug fight and he had stormed out. Alice falling asleep in the tub normally always meant trouble.

"Wake up…come on Ali, wake up before you slip down in the water and kill yourself." Alice fluttered her eyes open, looking down at the water and back up at me. She gave me a slight smile, though it didn't even come close to reaching her eyes.

"I must have been more tired than I realized. The water is cold." I laughed a bit at that, she sounded so much like a confused little kid.

I helped her stand and handed her the towel. As she dried off I reached down at pulled out the stopper. The water really was cold, she must have been in there for more than a couple hours.

"Alice, damn girl you have got to stop doing stuff like this. You could have easily drowned." She just nodded and headed into her room. Worried I followed her and stood quietly by her desk as she pulled on the same outfit she had been wearing that morning.

"Seriously Alice, what is wrong? You know you can talk to me about anything, right?" She turned to me as she ran a brush through her hair, a small, but sad smile on her face.

"I know Bella, but believe me, nothing is wrong. I'm just missing Jasper is all, once he gets home I'll be fine." I nodded and went to reach her dresser and pull out a pair of socks to throw to her. She was shivering from being in cold water for so long.

"He'll be home soon. Come on now, why don't you help me make something for dinner before tonight's event coverage starts." She slipped the socks on and followed me into the kitchen.

We worked silently, and I spent the whole time watching her. Not that she noticed, she seemed to be somewhere else. I would have to talk to Jake, I was sure this had nothing to do with Jasper being gone. They had spent longer apart before and never had Alice acted this way. I was damned sure this had something to do with the phone call with Paul. Hopefully Jake had better luck getting information from his best friend, because I hated seeing my own best friend like this.

* * *

(Jake's POV)

I stand leaning against one of the walls of the locker room, my eyes closed as I took a moment to collect myself. So far I was in the lead, but that could easily change tonight. It was a close competition, the top ten all within several point of each other. If I didn't make the short round I could kiss this event's buckle goodbye.

Opening my eyes I lifted my phone in front of me and reread Bella's text from that morning. I couldn't help the huge smile that overtook my face.

"_Oh, I'm sure there are a couple of 90 point rides in you."_

When I had first received her text I had been worried that she might have been upset. My text hadn't been anything vulgar or anything, we weren't yet at that point in our relationship. Still I wasn't sure how she would take something that suggestive. Apparently I had been wrong to worry.

Leaning down to put my phone back into my duffle I notice the time. I zipped up the bag, picked up my chaps and buckled them on. After setting my hat on my head I headed out to grab my equipment.

Paul was nowhere to be seen, though I was sure he was off enjoying a Buckle Bunny or two now that he was feeling more like himself. The crowd out in the arena could be heard as they filled up their seats. A shout that echoed through the event center evidence that some rowdy cowboy had already had one too many beers.

Martin Cassidy gave a pat on my shoulder as he passed, wishing me luck as he went to go and check on his bulls. Though we were all in competition with each other we all seemed more like a family. Each of us supporting the other, making friends and traveling partners. Even the Contractors like Martin had their place in our unruly family. This was something that I hoped Bella would understand and want to be a part of.

I flipped my rope over a railing, securing it as I grabbed my jar of rosin. Over and over I worked the rosin into the rope and my glove, just enough to help me hold on, but not too much that I would get stuck and hung up should I get bucked off.

I was so busy with my preparations I almost didn't noticed when Paul saddled up beside me. Once we were both ready it was time to start the event. The crowd was just as wild and loud as they had been the night before.

The place quieted as a local singer walked out into the middle of the dirt to sing the anthem, everyone remaining standing as the prayer was said. But as soon as the 'Amen' was said the crowed once again grew wild. The canons went off setting the dirt aflame with a fiery 'PBR.' My heart sped up as the lights flashed and the pyrotechnics blew through the arena. I always could feel the energy of the crowd as they screamed and clapped as the cowboys and bullfighters were introduced.

Finally it was time for the top five to make their way out. I ran out and took my place as my name was called, looking out at the crowd. There was no one there for me personally tonight, but I knew that both my Dad and Bella would be watching the coverage later.

I walked back to my equipment once the fires settled down and it was time to get the show on the road. The energy running through my veins never waned as the others mounted their bulls, if anything it just increased it.

When it was my turn, I flung my leg over the chute and settled down on the back of my bull. Sulphur Bottom was known for turning into a cowboy's hand, not to mention his high kick.

I worked the rosin a bit more into my rope, yelling over to Jack beside me to pull the thing tighter. The crew worked to keep Sulphur distracted, using a rope slung loosely around his neck to take his attention away from me.

I settled myself, taking care to wrap my hand. Pounding on my fingers, securing them over the rope, I took one extra moment to send my own prayer and nodded to the crew.

The gate flung open wide, cowboys scattering as Sulphur made for the dirt. My eyes remained glued to that damned hump on his back, my body leaning back as the devil kicked. Around and around he tried to fling me, but this fucker wasn't getting the best of me. I held on, my arm burning as he gave another great kick.

The sound of the whistle blew across the arena, echoing in my ears and signaling my cove of Sulphur. I pulled the tail, releasing my hand and jump from the back of my combatant. I whooped and hollered once I hit dirt. I couldn't keep myself from smiling to the camera and giving one of the bullfighters a pat on the back as I crossed him.

The others gave me pats or flicked the brim of my hat as I returned behind the chutes. I had just covered Sulphur Bottom for 89.25 points, a score high enough to keep me in the top ten and on to the short round.

I passed Paul as he was readying himself to climb the chute and mount Fate's Recluse. I grabbed the top of his hat and gave it a shake as I hollered to him a good luck. He nodded his head and proceeded to climb onto the back of his bull.

I watched from behind the chutes as Fate bolted from the chute. It was easy to tell that his shoulder was still bothering him, the pain seemed to have distracted him enough that he had slid back and was seated on his pockets. Still he covered Fate's Recluse for 86.50 points. As long as Colt Jones bucked off his next bull, Paul would make the Short Round.

* * *

As fate would have it, Colt was bucked off Little Goblin in 1.28 seconds with no re-ride option. Paul was up before me, riding Boggy Creek, one of Martin's best bulls. The crowed screamed and clapped, but Paul had been favoring his shoulder after covering Fate. It was inevitable that he would buck off. Boggy tossed him off at 7.98 seconds. It was no surprise when Paul stomped through the back of the chutes cursing up a storm.

I stretched out my arms, rubbing down my shoulder before I climbed the stairs to the chute where my bull, Mordred's Lullaby was. I sat myself down on this back, flipping my chaps out of the way. Lullaby was a mean bull, he was just this side of crazy. He couldn't seem to wait for the chute to open and bucked and kicked the best he could.

The stench of bull shit rose from the bottom of the chute with the dirt Lullaby was kicking up. Jake tightened my rope as I worked more rosin into it. Before I could even start to wrap my hand, Lullaby leaned himself to the side, pinning my thigh against the chute wall. I grunted as the crew worked the bull bar between Lullaby and the chute, prying him away and freeing my leg.

I hurt like hell, but I wasn't about to allow the bastard to get the best of me before the gate even opened. I put the hurt in my leg behind me, focusing on wrapping my hand and fixing my seat.

When I nodded to the crew and the gate was once again flung open, I held on tight to my rope. Lullaby was a rank bull, but one I knew I could easily cover. I spurred and matched him buck for buck. I was making some of the biggest Hail Mary moves I had done that season, and when the whistle blew I hollered loud and tossed my hat towards the chutes.

92.00 fucking points! The sirens rang out and the confetti fell. I hollered all the way back to the chutes secure in the knowledge that I had maintained my lead. I was showered with congratulations, back and shoulder pats, and a few hat slaps. But all I could think about was how I wished Bella was there with me. I was sure she would have given me a congratulatory kiss.

* * *

I zipped up my bag and picked it up to fling over my shoulder. The crowds were filtering out of the event center, stuffing themselves into their cars and trucks. The evening was winding down and I was finally feeling the pain in my body. My leg hurt like hell and I was sure it would be completely purple. I would need to soak tonight instead of showering.

I limped my way out of the locker room, walking towards the exit. Paul was there surrounded by three Buckle Bunnies. All of them poured into some of the tightest jeans I had ever seen. They were fawning all over him, offering to soothe the ache away and cheer him up from having bucked off.

It was as I neared that I saw something that shocked the ever living shit out of me. As each of them offered to join him in bed Paul shook his head and waved them off. I stood there like some sort of idiot with my mouth hanging open. The only time Paul ever turned down a Bunny was times like the night before when he was in so much pain he could barely move. But today he had been doing fine, I knew he hurt, but he was walking and behaving fine.

"Paul…" He glared over at me and lifted his arm to flip me off.

"Shut the fuck up Jake. I'm still too sore and don't feel like having some air headed girl accidentally hitting my shoulder. Come on, before any more of them see me." I just remained there watching as he walked out the doors. There was something going on with Paul, and I knew it couldn't be because he bucked off or got hurt.

Looking back to where the Bunnies had gone off I thought that whatever it was, maybe it wasn't such a bad thing. Paul actually seemed to be growing up.

* * *

Author's Note: Sorry it took so long, I had decided to try and plot out all the chapters on this in advance. I have yet to get them all, but thought I better get a chapter done. This story is turning out to be quite an undertaking. I'm thinking this will be around 30 to 40 chapters, so we still have awhile until the end.

Now, for the name, I have all the girls in TR chat for helping me. Again though, I am planning on having a few scenes in here of Jake and Paul riding and would love some help with coming up with names.

Ok, I want to say again, that with everything going on with this site I want to inform all of my readers that I also post on Tricky Raven. All my wolf stories are on there, including all lemons and there are a few stories on there that can't be found on here. As well as my original stories. If you are 18 or older go on over and check out the site.

**Disclaimer:**** All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.**


	10. Lying To Ourselves

Chapter Nine: Lying To Ourselves;

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I groaned as I forced myself awake, still very tired from the night before. After I finished watching the coverage of yesterday's event, Jake had called me. I had been so proud, watching as Jake kept his lead on Saturday and won the buckle on Sunday. I had wished I had been there so I could have congratulated him in person. Instead we spent the night on the phone. We had talked of nothing, and yet everything.

He explained to me what he felt as he got on the back of a bull, the thrill, danger and even the fear when he had to ride one of the ranker bulls. It was close to four in the morning before we finally said goodnight and hung up. I was sure we would have talked longer, but sadly I had to get up in two hours time in order to leave for work.

It was like walking through molasses as I showered and dressed for work. I knew today was going to be fun, I had never tried to work on so little sleep. Alice was already gone by the time I finished getting ready and walked into the kitchen. It wasn't really unusual, Alice worked harder than anyone at her job. She had plans on moving up in the company, and that took hard work and lots of ass kissing. What was strange thought was that Alice would normally peak into my room to say goodbye, today she didn't.

Too tired to deal with trying to figure out what was going on with Alice, I just grab my keys and head out to work. I would have time later, after work and a nap, to contemplate what was wrong.

* * *

When I got into work, a cup of the Gods' Elixir in hand, I noticed Jane looking rather smug at her desk. That of course was never a good thing, when evil things looked smug some poor peasant was dead, or virgin devoured. I was no less tired than I had been when I left my apartment, so I decided to just ignore the Queen Bitch in favor of starting up my computer. Sadly Jane just can't seem to get that I would rather be left alone and started running off her mouth.

"So how was your weekend?" I raised an eyebrow at the Bitch of Bitches, wondering what the hell she was up to. Jane never talked to me unless she wanted to get a rise out of me.

"Fine, worked on Saturday, but otherwise just spent the weekend relaxing. Why?" Jane shrugged her shoulders. She didn't look at me as she spoke, only clicked on her computer.

"Oh, no reason. I just wondered if maybe there was a bit of excitement this weekend." To anyone else it would seem like Jane was only making small talk, but I could hear something in her voice, so what she said next really didn't surprise me.

"It's just, I had been wondering about what you saw in that bull riding thing, so I went ahead and watched the thing on Friday. It was pretty much what I thought. A bunch of idiots trying to compare dick size by seeing who could last longer on some animal.

"Oh and that one cowboy, what was his name, Phil or something, how pathetic was that? It would have been better for all if he had broken his neck." Yep, not surprising that she would watch the event only to find something to show me that she was right about cowboys.

"His name is Paul, and I can't believe you are so cold to actually wish him dead. And for your information TR is a really rank bull, not many cowboys can ride him. Paul actually did a fair job, nothing pathetic about it. He's only got a bruised shoulder and knuckles" Jane just shrugged her shoulders again and leaned back in her chair, looking at me with that same smug look she had on when I first arrived.

"Oh Bella, I didn't realize that you were one of _those_ girls." I had a feeling that I wouldn't like the answer, still I had to ask.

"One of what girls, Jane?" That smug smile just grew.

"One of those girls that go to rodeos just to sleep with all the cowboys, how else could you know about this Paul unless you were also sleeping with him." I turned around in my chair, glaring at Jane. If looks could kill, she would be a pile of smoking ash right about now.

"You need to at least use the right terms if you are going to talk about it, they are called buckle bunnies, Jane. And I assure you, I'm most certainly was not one of them. Besides the fact that anyone can get the injury report on the website, Paul is best friends with Jake, my boyfriend, they grew up together, practically brothers.

"That was how I knew Paul was alright. Now, you need to learn to shut your mouth about things you don't understand, gloating over the fact that Paul got hurt was probably one of the coldest things you could do, as the last guy to get on TR is having to relearn how to walk. You may not understand it, and you don't have to as you're not dating a cowboy, but they're certainly more man than the guy you are currently dating.

"Believe me, I know, I was with Edward long enough. Here is some advice, honey, you might want to invest in a good vibrator if you don't already have one, because believe me you are going to need it." With that I slammed on my headset and turned around to answer my first call of the morning.

* * *

(Alice's POV)

I squirmed in my chair a bit, hoping that I looked busy. In actuality, I had allowed my eyes to gloss over the article I was suppose to be editing. It just wasn't as interesting as it would have been a few weeks ago. Shocking coming from me, my father would be trying to check me into the hospital had he heard me say such a thing. I wasn't even sure what the article was about, something about the importance of choosing the right belt for the right outfit, and how the wrong belt could completely ruin a look. I just wasn't paying that much attention.

I blew a small lock of hair off my forehead and clicked a couple of keys to correct an ill constructed sentence. Nothing very exciting, nothing that could keep my attention for long, and I went back to simply staring at my screen.

Though I normally would be gossiping along with the rest of the office girls, nothing interested me until I heard one of the girls mention Paul's name. I didn't move from my desk, but I did abandon the article and tried to listen to the girls without actually looking like I was paying attention. I could hear Paul's name mentioned a few times, and forgot all pretense and rolled my chair back to better listen.

I'm shocked to hear them talking about the wreak on Friday. I had worked with these girls for years, I even had a bit of a friendship with a couple, but hadn't known any of them followed PBR. I was also shocked to find my getting pissed off when they started talking about how hot they thought Paul and Jake were. I figured it was because of Bella dating Jake. I mean she is like a sister to me, and here were these girls talking about how they wouldn't mind riding her boyfriend.

I was sure that was why I wanted so bad to rush across the office and take Kat's hair in my hands and pull every last bleached strand out of that little air head of her's. It had nothing at all to do with the fact that they were now talking about how perfectly shaped Paul's ass was, and contemplating on his size. Nothing at all.

Shit, who was I kidding? I hated how they talked about him, how they probably looked at him. And it pissed me off even more. I was not suppose to be feeling things such as that about Paul.

So busy was I in trying to deal with that bit of information, I didn't notice I had been asked a question. It wasn't until one of the girls came over and waved her hand in front of my face that I realized that they had been talking to me.

"Sorry, I guess I was a bit out of it. What did you say?" Kat just shook her head at me, and I had to hold back the urge to shove those hideously outdated pair of pumps up her ass.

"Oh, we were just wondering what you thought about that wreak on Friday? If you thought Paul was loosing his touch?" I laughed at that. Loosing his touch? It was obvious that they didn't follow PBR like I did. Most likely they watched simply to gawk at the cowboys. They probably couldn't even give me Paul's stats.

"Hell no! He was just having a bad day, but he's fine, just a bruised shoulder. Jake said he was fine on Saturday." The room became silent for a moment, all the girls to looking at her funny. Oops, guess I forgot they didn't know about Bella and Jake.

"Jake, as in Jake Black?" I think Tess' voice actually hit supersonic levels.

"Yes, as in Jake Black. You know my roommate, Bella, right? Well Jake and Bella are dating, so I know both Jake and Paul." They wide eyed look on all the girls would have been funny had I not still been pissed at them for their comments earlier.

"Oh shit! Damn, have you slept with Paul yet?" I gave them a look, as though to ask if they had lost their brains somewhere on the way to work today. These girls have known me for years, hell Jasper had been down to the office many times.

"What kind of girl do you think I am? I'm with Jasper and wouldn't ever think of cheating on him." Kat just rolled her eyes, flipping her hand at me.

"So, I'm married, but that doesn't matter. I would have fucked Paul if I had the chance." I make a scuffing noise and rolled back over to my computer to work, without a word to any of them. Sadly though I had trouble concentrating.

I looked back over to the girls as they continued their discussion. I was sure it was simply because I was missing Jasper. My head slammed down in my palm. Yeah, no one would ever buy that.

* * *

(Bella's POV)

I returned to work after lunch to find a rather annoyed Jane at her table. The woman kept giving me nasty looks, but I just shrugged it off. She was probably still upset about what happened that morning. Not that I cared, the woman was a super bitch and I don't take too kindly to having my boyfriend and friend talked about like that.

Jane spent the rest of the afternoon not speaking to me, which was fine to me. But she did slam everything, which wasn't fine, and by the end of the day I was ready to smack the woman upside the head. Was she really that upset over my remark about Edward? Too bad, if she hadn't already slept with him, she would soon find out.

Edward was a very greedy man, it wasn't that he was small or anything, he was about average, but he was clumsy and tended to forget that he wasn't fucking a blowup doll but a real woman. It was normally over before it really got started and I had to on several occasions take comfort in the massaging showerhead after he had passed out in bed. At the time they we were dating, I forgave him because he was a means to an end. My perfect end. Now I knew I could never settle for that. And I really, really hoped that Jake was good in bed. I was sure I would forgive him if he wasn't, still…God I hoped he was good.

I was getting ready to leave when I noticed Edward walking into the office. Could my day get any worse? I figured he was here for Jane, they must have some date.

I stood and after gathering my things, walked past him to the door. Only before I could get there Edward grabbed my arm and swung me around. I was so shocked by this that I didn't react, and just let him pull me close to his chest.

"What the hell are you thinking?" It was only then that I realized that Jane had already left, I had been so deep in thought I hadn't noticed. Now I was alone in the office with Edward….Joy.

* * *

Author's Note: Oh look! Update! Short and no Jake or Paul I know, but they return next chap.

_Anyway, I thought I better say this. I believe I have before, but I want to point this out again. This is not exactly an HEA, I never have said it was either. I have had the end to this story planned since I started this, and I have hinted at the ending in the story, the biggest hint the last section of the preface. There is character death in this story, and it is more than Sam._

_I just wanted to reiterate this, this is__**NOT**__an HEA. This story takes place over a period of five years, and tissues will be needed once we enter into the fifth year. Sorry if this upsets anyone, but I really have had this planned from the beginning._

**Disclaimer:**

**All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended. **


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